Low (no) sex drive.

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Permalink Reply by Schlayn on October 21, 2008 at 11:37am

Are you on birth control? This can be a big factor in low to no sex drive. If you are I would talk to your doctor about possibly changing your current method. I had the same issue and when I changed methods it was like night and day.

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Permalink Reply by Ellen on October 21, 2008 at 12:02pm

This is common for people who have just had a baby and especially people who are nursing. The low estrogen associated with nursing can cause side effects in sex drive as well as reduce elasticity in your body. Having very little elasticity in your body means that it hurts like heck to do the deed and typically when something is very painful, desire gets less and less for the activity. If you are nursing, you can talk to your doctor about getting some cream that will help balance you out. If you are not nursing, I would recommend talking to your ob/gyn or nurse anyway to see if there is something they can suggest to make you swing back the other way. :)

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Permalink Reply by Debby on October 21, 2008 at 12:31pm

my suggestions have more to do with your mind set rather than hormonal imbalances.

Being tired from being the primary caregiver of the baby as well as doing all the other stuff you did before the baby can really get to you and lower your drive to do a lot of things. When I started feeling like this after my 2nd child, I got my husband to step in and take a little of the load off.

I would get home first so I fed the baby and nursed the baby then the baby would nap so I could cook supper. G-man would play with daddy, and eat again when daddy got home. We would have family time and my husband would do the bed time routine. Bath, books and bottle while rocking. Once the G-man was in bed my husband would do the dishes and clean the kitchen so I could do things for myself (sewing, crafting, catch up on email, shave my legs, use the foot massager or do my manicure/pedicure routine) Since my husband could sleep in in the mornings he got up with the baby at night. They were often asleep together in the rocking chair in the morning. He would also cook on his early come home day and 2 days off

When I switched jobs and I had G-man with me all day, my husband would do more for me like fix breakfast and pack lunches get G-man ready to go every day. Now that I'm not working and have had another kid, he does all those things for both boys. He takes one child to school while I take the other. He still does the dishes, cleans the kitchen and handles the bed time routine. We have added one more thing though, I take one evening off a week, I cook supper, load a plate and go lock myself in my room for the evening. It really helps me recharge before I spend Saturday alone with the boys all day while my husband works.

It's great, he knows the boys as well as I do becuase he does so much with him. They have a great relationship based on routine and fun and I don't have to be the heavy ending the fun to do evening routines.

Seeing him bathe the kids, or do dishes makes my husband even hotter.

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Permalink Reply by Shawna on October 21, 2008 at 12:48pm

I have the SAME problem!!! I have no care for it at all!!! My husband on the other hand wants it ALL the time!!! I also feel bad that I shoo him away ALL the time!! I also feel there is something wrong with me! I have thought of going to the doctor and asking but I'm shy about doing so!! I'm not on birth control and I'm a stay at home mom for my two kids! My daughter will be four next month and my son just turned two. My son is a handful!! When night time comes all I want to do is sleep!!! I feel my husband will get tired of me turning him down all the time!! Not really sure what to do about this either!!! But we are in the same boat for sure!!! aHHHHHHH SLEEP THAT'S WHAT i WANT RIGHT NOW!!!!! YAWN!!!

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Permalink Reply by Janae on October 22, 2008 at 3:00pm

I have had 5 children. I think part of the problem is that as a mother our last bit of energy is saved for our husband which usually means there isn't much at the end of the day. Make sure that you find time for your spouse. Find the things that started your romance and look for new ways to stay in love. Find new ways to satisfy each other. We have to be creative. Find a female ob-gyn or midwife that understands your body more and can prescribe hormone replacement creams like Arbonne Progesterone Cream that can help. I had a male doctor with each delivery but the women understand us more. Look on the internet for one in your area. Women don't always think about it anymore like men do. Another thing that might be affecting your drive is the fear of getting pregnant when you are not ready. Make sure you take care of that and it will also get better. One more thing is that talk it over with your husband and make sure that you are both getting the most out of the sexual relationship. Who better to help you than your husband who loves you and wants you to be happy too. Get some rest and don't be afraid to talk to your doctor. That is why they get paid the big bucks. But maybe get the cream I mentioned above first. If you can't find any contact me and I know someone who sells it.

Shawna said:

I have the SAME problem!!! I have no care for it at all!!! My husband on the other hand wants it ALL the time!!! I also feel bad that I shoo him away ALL the time!! I also feel there is something wrong with me! I have thought of going to the doctor and asking but I'm shy about doing so!! I'm not on birth control and I'm a stay at home mom for my two kids! My daughter will be four next month and my son just turned two. My son is a handful!! When night time comes all I want to do is sleep!!! I feel my husband will get tired of me turning him down all the time!! Not really sure what to do about this either!!! But we are in the same boat for sure!!! aHHHHHHH SLEEP THAT'S WHAT i WANT RIGHT NOW!!!!! YAWN!!!

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Permalink Reply by Hera on October 23, 2008 at 9:29am

My first question to you is are you on birth control and what are you using? After I had my first child I went on the Depo shot and thought it was a great idea. Get a shot every couple months instead of having to try and remember to take a pill everyday. Well that shot screwed me up! I gained weight, had horrible acne, mood swings, lost any and ALL desire to have sex etc...
I take Yaz now and it's great! I highly reccommend it! Hope I've helped...

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Permalink Reply by Ronda on October 23, 2008 at 10:41am

I am glad to know I am not alone in this issue. I just wish my husband knew this was fairly normal. I have NO interest at all. I have a 21, 19 and 4yo all boys. I and am taking a college class, I was working full time but was recently let go for no reason. I keep wishing for that female little blue pill, I tell you if anyone ever comes up with low/ no libido help for females they will make a fortune!! I am on the pill and really have to be due to migraines. Even when I was off the pill it didn't seem to matter, although I had migraines to contend with. I just feel so guilty but can't seem to get past it. I try to get in the mood but start feeling anxious about the fact that I won't be in the mood. Uggg it's a vicious cycle!

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Permalink Reply by MonkeysMaMa on October 23, 2008 at 12:34pm

I'm on Nuva ring. I just started taking this Libido max supplement --I'll tell youif it works.

e>Hera said:

My first question to you is are you on birth control and what are you using? After I had my first child I went on the Depo shot and thought it was a great idea. Get a shot every couple months instead of having to try and remember to take a pill everyday. Well that shot screwed me up! I gained weight, had horrible acne, mood swings, lost any and ALL desire to have sex etc...
I take Yaz now and it's great! I highly reccommend it! Hope I've helped...

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Permalink Reply by Casey on October 26, 2008 at 5:56am

when i had my first child I had NO SEX interest AT all!!! but now not so much i'm in fact wanting it all the time maybe it might be that ur uncomfortable with your body..that was my biggest issue i was really skinny before i got preggers and then i ballooned VERY large because i was on bed rest for 8 months and i packed packed on the weight...and then after i met my hubby i lost almost all of it and then it was fine :)

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Permalink Reply by Shawna on October 26, 2008 at 6:44am

That's actually really interesting!! I'm sort of big and I don't like my body AT ALL!! I AM very self conscious!! So that IS a good possibility!!!

Casey said:

when i had my first child I had NO SEX interest AT all!!! but now not so much i'm in fact wanting it all the time maybe it might be that ur uncomfortable with your body..that was my biggest issue i was really skinny before i got preggers and then i ballooned VERY large because i was on bed rest for 8 months and i packed packed on the weight...and then after i met my hubby i lost almost all of it and then it was fine :)

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Permalink Reply by TRESA on October 26, 2008 at 1:27pm

I HAVE THE SAME PROBLEM.. I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST ME THAT FELT THIS WAY. I LOVE MY HUBBY AND HES SO SEXY, BUT I JUST CANT GET INTO IT ANYMORE AND BEFORE I GOT MY BIRTHCONTROL AFTER THE RECENT BIRTH OF OUR SON, 7 WKS AGO, I COULDN'T GET ENOUGH OF HIM, SO WHATS WRONG WITH ME?? I MISS THE PASSION WE USED TO SHARE.. I HAVE A MERIDA IUD.. SO IS THIS NORMAL??

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Permalink Reply by KeepingTheSanity on October 27, 2008 at 1:20pm

It's ok for you to feel this way! I'm sure if we asked all moms with young kids this same question they'd all answer "Me! Me!" with raised hands in the air. I'm mom to an 18 month old and a 3 month old, and at the end of the day all I want to do is SLEEP. And my poor DH thinks that sometimes I'm just not attracted to him - as IF, he could be on the cover of GQ magazine!! Because my daughter is only 3 months old, she still sleeps in our room. And it's hard for me to get intimate with my husband if she's right there, 2 feet away. So, what works for us is to have some alone time on the weekends. We drop the kids off at the grandparents and either go out on a date, or sometimes we just come back home to relax! As your child gets a little older, things will get better. Just don't feel bad, or feel like you're the only one out there!

www.keepingthesanity.com

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