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Daycare Issue with 5 yr old son
Help! My 5 yr old son is having an issue at daycare and I am at a loss. I have the searched online for parenting forums, advice, etc. and am not really finding anything that applies to our situation. My 5 yr old son seems to have a "personality conflict" with our current childcare provider. It starts from the time he leaves pre-school to go to daycare. He will refuse to get into her car, then refuses to get out when they arrive. He will defy every rule she sets forth and as she describes, "does the exact opposite off what I ask of him." It's starting to become very disruptive to the daycare as he is one of the older ones and is setting a poor example when he starts yelling, "I hate you!" or "I'm never coming here again!" at her. Both my children attend this home daycare and have since December. My 2 yr old daughter attends full-tme and seems quite happy with it. My son has been coming after pre-school just a few days a week, however I am planning on him also attending full-time beginning next week now that school is out. He has always intermittently had this issue with this daycare. We have never had any sort of disciplinary isues with him in the past at previous daycares or throughout the school year at pre-school. My daycare provider started providing childcare for the first time in December when she quit her full-time job, so this is her first issue like this. She states she's tried everything and is really at a loss. I know she is apprehensive about what will happen next week. I told her I would try to work with him, but I am looking for a resource or advice on how to handle this in conversation with not only my son, but also for her. I feel that she is open to trying new things, so I am hopeful we can keep the dialogue open. Advice???
Tags: 5, behavior, conflicts, daycare, issues, old, personality, yr
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Sara Broers on -
If I were you, I would be looking for another daycare provider. For some reason things are not going OK. In my eyes, you are spending a lot of your precious time worrying about how to change his days when he is there. It may just be a personality conflict, but personally, it doesn't sound like a good fit all the way around. Do you have a local YMCA with a summer program for kids? Just a thought. I would try something different.
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Permalink Reply by creativebug on -
Thanks Sara. I appreciate your input! Unfortunately, we are in a small, rural community so the closest Y is about 30 miles away. I think I might be torn because I do feel it might be the best resolution and I hate "breaking up."
Sara Broers said:If I were you, I would be looking for another daycare provider. For some reason things are not going OK. In my eyes, you are spending a lot of your precious time worrying about how to change his days when he is there. It may just be a personality conflict, but personally, it doesn't sound like a good fit all the way around. Do you have a local YMCA with a summer program for kids? Just a thought. I would try something different.
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Permalink Reply by Sara Broers on
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Daycare issues can be so trying, can't they? You did state that she's maybe apprehensive about what will happen next- maybe she doesn't know how to tell you she can't deal with him. I have been there- I had daycare one day and none the next when my NOW 14 year old was 2 1/2. I had a friend who did and still does in home daycare- She just said, "Sara, I can't watch him anymore, he's biting and doesn't listen to me." We have remained friends and I appreciated her honesty. Do your research and look at all of your other options- doesn't sound like many. Daycare in rural America is tough- I live in the country, about 8 miles from a town of 29,000- I'm not out as far as you are. But, I do live in rural America. I can relate somewhat to what you are going through. Hang in there! Do what is best for you, your son AND your daycare provider.
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Permalink Reply by colleen sullivan on -
Hi, as a mom and nurse I would have him seen by his pediatrician just to make sure there are no other reasons that are causing this behavior change. Please let us know how you make out! Colleen
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Permalink Reply by creativebug on
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Thanks, Sara! I'd like to preserve the friendship, too. We are friends from jr. high and high school, too. Thanks for your encouragement!!
Sara Broers said:Daycare issues can be so trying, can't they? You did state that she's maybe apprehensive about what will happen next- maybe she doesn't know how to tell you she can't deal with him. I have been there- I had daycare one day and none the next when my NOW 14 year old was 2 1/2. I had a friend who did and still does in home daycare- She just said, "Sara, I can't watch him anymore, he's biting and doesn't listen to me." We have remained friends and I appreciated her honesty. Do your research and look at all of your other options- doesn't sound like many. Daycare in rural America is tough- I live in the country, about 8 miles from a town of 29,000- I'm not out as far as you are. But, I do live in rural America. I can relate somewhat to what you are going through. Hang in there! Do what is best for you, your son AND your daycare provider.
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Permalink Reply by creativebug on
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Thanks, Colleen. I was wondering about this as well. We have had some changes in our family & he seemed to handle it all really well, so it was all out of left field for me when this all of a sudden became an issue. I have a family history of some chemical imbalance issues on my side & I am one of them. I think this is why I reached out, because I'll over-analyze it to death and become fixated with it not wanting him to suffer, but also wanting him to be able to transition when necessary.
colleen sullivan said:Hi, as a mom and nurse I would have him seen by his pediatrician just to make sure there are no other reasons that are causing this behavior change. Please let us know how you make out! Colleen
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