So my husband has asked for a divorce and although I've managed to convince him for the sake of sanity and perhaps saving our marriage to go to a counselor I think his mind is made up.
He was talking today about visitation with our daughter. I would love for him to see her for a few hours (probably 2) a day just because that's how it is now even with being married. He says he wants to take her a night or two.
Now typically I wouldn't think twice about allowing this because she should be with him. But he's BiPolar and highly unstable right now (was hospitalized recently, going through med changes, and is experiencing extreme behaviors and emotions, including threatening to kill himself).
I've lived with this for 2 years, the BiPolar and he has not been alone with our child ever especially over night since his diagnosis. I don't know how to trust someone who can't even take the appropriate steps to keep himself healthy. I recognize this is part of the disorder, but where do you draw the line and protect your child?
*On a side note I don't want to hear anything about how my child will be damaged for life, that's crap pure and simple, my mom and dad divorced and every day I am thankful my mom had the courage to protect us from our father and his problems. Divorce is what you make of it. I married for life, and if my husband decides in 5 months that he wants to stay married then married we will stay, but right now it's out of my hands.
I just want advice about what you'd do in regards to his mental health? Would you want him to be stable for a while before trusting him? Or would you not worry?
On a side note: My daughter has a medical condition that needs a lot of attention and I worry his emotional stuff might mess with his ability to prioritize things in regards to her treatment as well. He's never been real good at remembering her medicines and so forth.
I too come from a divorced family and have been better off for it. I am in the opinion that you don't stay in a marriage for the children's sake it just leads to more problems in the long run. As far as with your daughter, if it were me, I would only let her go for a few hours and not overnight just until you feel more comfortable about the whole situation. Especially if you have any reservations about it. Go with your gut is what I say! Nine out of ten times it's always right :o) Good luck to you and I'm so sorry you have to be going through this.