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Since turning 34 last month, I have been plagued with the HORRIBLE feeling of looking and feeling so much older. Since having 2 kids, I have packed on 50 pounds. I have laugh lines and a deep line between my eyes. I'm starting to get gray hairs! I dress so frumpy because I'm so overweight. I want to lose weight , but feel like it'll never happen. I cringe every time I look in the mirror. My hubby keeps telling me that I don't need to lose weight. I asked him if I lost the weight, could I please have plastic surgery to put back areas of my body that have migrated south for the winter. I'd also like some line filler and maybe Botox. I'm really not sure of all the 'improvements' yet as I need to research safety, doctors, and procedures... but I am sick of looking old, tired, and fat. My husband is concerned that if I lose the weight and have my breasts lifted and my tummy tucked, that I'll appeal to other men and I'll find someone more attractive than he is. But honestly, this has nothing to do with him. Even though I was no raving beauty in my youth, before kids, I looked mildly attractive. Now, I feel so utterly unattractive and it's really getting to me. I just want to look like I did before kids. I don't want enhancements or to look 21 again. Just to look refreshed and like my old self. Is that silly?

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No it's not silly and I started feeling the same way at that age. I started using age reversing type make-up and concentrated on my food intake because I had been over 300 lbs for a couple of years and my last pregnancy nearly killed my kidneys. I made the plan too. When I lost the weight I was going to have everything fixed back up. Not for being attractive to other men but just so I could actually see myself in the mirror again and be happy with what I saw.

My husband has the same reaction. he likes me the way I am and realizes a lot of my health conditions are related to my weight but he doesn't want to see me make myself crazy with fad diets and such.

I think there are things we can do for ourselves. There are clothes that will bring sexy back to our bodies no matter what shape. For me, it was a good bra. I also started the maintenance medications I needed to support my efforts to become healthy again.

One of these years I will have all the extra skin removed, I'll spend a tax return on it but for now... Good looking is more in my mind than on my body.
That is not silly at all. From your picture you look very pretty and younger than 34 :) I can relate to your feelings though. I turned 34 in September. I never lost my baby weight and I live in tshirts and shorts.I think everyone has that moment where they realize they are getting older, we just have to remember it is not a bad thing. I think it is great that your husband tells keeps telling you that you do not need to lose weight. Try to remember laugh lines are good. It means you are enjoying life!
LOL I am now 42 and felt same way at 32. I remember one night I went out and actually went to a casino and went for breakfast at 2 am. This is when it hit me all these kids coming in from bar looked about 16 to me. My friend said we just got old... Finally at 42 I have decided getting old is not so bad and I have come to terms with it (however, Loreal makes a great hair dye) but, this insight took me 10 wasted years. Learn to love yourself and count your blessings with a husband and children that I am sure adore you and dont think about the other stuff. I say this but again took me 10 years LOL Debby is right good looking is all in your mind if you feel good you will look good.
You are not alone. I feel the same way and my husband says the same thing! I'm 38 and have a 2 and 3 yr. old and have yet to lose the 50 extra pounds. I think the, '' I just had a baby'' exuse is getting old. I am deathly afraid of any type of plastic surgery but I would'nt mind getting the fat sucked out of my chin. I'm tired of holding my head up all day , just to hide that second chin. I know that if I just lose the extra pounds, I will feel energized and revitalized but it's much harder when your older to lose the pounds. This is the worst time of year to do it too, with Thanksgiving and the stress of Christmas. anyway..You look beautiful and I think you should hold off on any type of procedures that you might regret. We are more than what we look like on the outside but it sure would feel good to be a size 8 again. I know my husband would like that too, he's just to loving to hurt my feelings.
chin up!!!!! you are in the prime of your life -with so much to look forward to! all you need is some encouragement and positive thinking! you will get your body back with a little hard work- and you need to enjoy the wonderful life that you have! its not silly to want to look your best and feel your best. feelings are never silly. if you feel that you really want some "work" done- do A LOT of research. good luck!- and keep smiling!
That's not silly! I'm 34 as well and I've been feeling the same way (also had 2 kids) and I do feel that I need to lose weight, get botox or some kind of filler and then the good ol' booby lift n tummy tuck. I have been buying many anti wrinkle creams and eye creams to get rid of the fine lines when I smile but I haven't found anything that makes me happy. I don't know if this is common in women our age but hopefully it's just a phase. My husband also asures me that I'm beautiful and attractive but like you said, it's nothing to do with him..... ((sigh))
You are a very pretty girl..we all have those moments. I am 38 and can't wait for 40. As a child I always wanted to "wake up and be 40". I thought I'd know it all at that point. I have learned among other things that it's not true. But I feel more sexual at 38 than I did when I was younger and my husband likes that. ;0) He's not worried about the fact that I may be appealing to other men..He knows he has me and I am not planning on going anywhere and I make sure he knows that too. I say he looks good to me and that (most importantly to me I think) is telling him that he takes good care of me and the girls.. About the tummy tuck and things..I will not have that stuff done unless it is a life or death thing. Too many things can and do go wrong. All for vanity. He loves you just the way you are and surgery didn't make that happen. You did. You did good! He's a keeper!! I am over weight and I have been trying Yoga and Wii fit. It's fun and let him watch you hula hoop! {insert wolf whistle here..} Enjoy yourself! It's the only you, you have!
You can start by doing little things-making the effort to go out walking-cut back on snacks-things that are not over the top of surgery. Look for clothes that look good on you-even the discount stores have fashion. Take a girlfriend-spend the day-being beautiful.

Alot of it is mindset-set small goals and work towards them-let your hubbie know and he can support you. Start trying to be healthy now-help in the long run when you get older.
Join us in the Christian Momlogic Healthy Living group. We are making commitments and goals, but also giving each other encouragement. Women want to lose anywhere from 10 to 100 pounds and to do it safely and smart. Sometimes that is all we need: each other. : )
Wow you sound so much like me, i hate my weight and I can't stand how i look too. My husband says he love me as i am, but i know if i was smaller i'd feel better about me. I have three kids and don't seem like i eat alot of food but can't lose any weight! My clothes are so duh! can't feel good if can't find clothes that fit right! I wish there were a way to just be like today is the day! My advice is just be you do what you can and let your husband love you for you!! Thats what i try to do! someday Big girls will be in.....Nett
It's funny cause I used to feel that way at your age. But now at 42 you learn to start accepting the changes cause believe me they aren't going anywhere. So what, you're not young anymore. Just be the greatest 34 year old you can be and you'll realize that fun and acceptance starts with yourself.

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