How do you address your mother-in-law?

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Permalink Reply by eva goodmil on April 27, 2009 at 10:13pm

Dear Eva,
we are willing to send your MIL a communal petition on your behalf. She does not listen?
Keep peace in the family, and make sure that YOU are happy. Mrs. Mendoza is #2. eva
evagoodmil@gmail.com http://bit.ly/VpTE9
Eva Flores said:

I call her MOM but then she refers to herself as Mrs. Mendoza... It gets really confusing at times but guess what, this has been happening for TEN years now. She likes this. I tell my husband that he needs to settle this. He needs to talk to his Mother and find out what I am, a Daughter-in-law or just nothing. Of course he has done nothing to help solve this issue and as most men, he probably will not do anything about it.
I hope you can get better that I can. I try to talk to my Mother-in-Law but she chooses to not listen. I hope if you speak to your Mother-in-Law, she will choose to listen and really hear what you have to say. That is what really should happen. You both have to discuss this.
I really hope you and your Mother-in-Law can come to a resolution. Speak to her and ask her what she really does prefer.
Good luck and God bless...

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Permalink Reply by eva goodmil on April 27, 2009 at 10:20pm

DeAnna, I would be interested in learning more about your MIL from Guam. I research cultural clashes, etc. in multicultural families, MIL/DIL difficulties, etc. I hope you will follow my posts, or email evagoodmil@gmail.com

DeAnna Chandler said:

Personally, I would just ask and find out how she would like to addressed and go with that... unless you guys are really close and call her mom. I call my MIL mom. I just called her whatever my husband was calling her. They are from Guam and aren't even close to being into what's happening in the world or updated either... Old timers I guess. She just turned 75. Love her to death though..

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Permalink Reply by eva goodmil on April 27, 2009 at 10:30pm

Ok Ladies, thank you all for your input. I hoped that more than 1 MIL will answer my post. I guess, there are more DILs than MILs on social networks. My book is moving along. I got many answers, and my favorite comes from a New England MIL. I have to think about it more, and then write for http://bit.ly/VpTE9
Will let you know tomorrow. evagoodmil@gmail.com http://bit.ly/VpTE9

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Permalink Reply by Laura on April 28, 2009 at 8:08am

I don't have a fantastic relationship with my MIL, but when I address her, I call her by her first name. I call my husband's aunts Tia just like he does, though. (Tia is Spanish for aunt.)

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Permalink Reply by Debby on April 28, 2009 at 12:04pm

Not any more, I did with my first mother in law until she would upset me then I would call her by her name. From that time on I have always used their married name until I was married or engaged into the family then I would switch to their given name.

But my oldest son's fiancee calls me mom all the time, she calls my husband dad sometimes although he's her future step dad inlaw. She calls my son's father by his first name and his wife by her first name. My son never called his step mom "mom" at all.

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Permalink Reply by Christina Montoya Fiedler on April 29, 2009 at 7:21pm

I call my MIL by her first name. Sometimes I call her Mom...but usually just by her first name.

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Permalink Reply by Kathleen on April 30, 2009 at 8:50pm

For a long time I didn't know what to call her, so I didn't call her anything. But then she moved in with us, and my kids call her Nana. So most of the time if the kids are around, I call her Nana. When it is just the two us, I call her by her first name, but if my husband is around, I call her Mom. So I must be calling her whatever other people in the room are calling her! I had never even noticed I did that before.

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Permalink Reply by eva goodmil on April 30, 2009 at 8:57pm

Dear Kathleen,

Yous is the most flexible strategy in this name-calling game. Ladies, take notice!
I'll appreciate if you respond to my other question about intrusions. Best, eva evagoodmil@gmail.com

Kathleen said:

For a long time I didn't know what to call her, so I didn't call her anything. But then she moved in with us, and my kids call her Nana. So most of the time if the kids are around, I call her Nana. When it is just the two us, I call her by her first name, but if my husband is around, I call her Mom. So I must be calling her whatever other people in the room are calling her! I had never even noticed I did that before.

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Permalink Reply by Lyris on May 1, 2009 at 6:07am

Hello, Eva
I have to say that I was never comfortable calling my in-laws mom or dad. I initially addressed them by their first name (they did not want Mrs. or Mr.) That changed when my son was born. My son called my father in law grandpa and my mother in law mum. I began to call my in laws mum and grandpa as well.
My husband initially referred to my mom as "Mrs.” Growing up, my son referred to my mother as nana.
My husband began to call my mom nana as well. It has worked out just fine and there has never been a complaint. By the way, my son is 12 and my daughter, 7. It has worked out just fine for many years :)

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Permalink Reply by eva goodmil on May 1, 2009 at 8:39am

Dear Lyris,
Sounds like you have found a happy solution that works. I'd like to know how you address the issue of intrusions.
Please check my othr discussion, or email me evagoodmil@gmail.com
Lyris said:

Hello, Eva
I have to say that I was never comfortable calling my in-laws mom or dad. I initially addressed them by their first name (they did not want Mrs. or Mr.) That changed when my son was born. My son called my father in law grandpa and my mother in law mum. I began to call my in laws mum and grandpa as well.
My husband initially referred to my mom as "Mrs.” Growing up, my son referred to my mother as nana.
My husband began to call my mom nana as well. It has worked out just fine and there has never been a complaint. By the way, my son is 12 and my daughter, 7. It has worked out just fine for many years :)

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Permalink Reply by Tamra Augostino on May 1, 2009 at 9:43am

I call her by her first name or by Grandma. She has never asked me to call her mom.

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Permalink Reply by Teresa on May 1, 2009 at 2:28pm

I call mine (Mommy-In-Law)

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