I'm not speaking to my mother!!!

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Permalink Reply by dONNA GRISSMAN on April 23, 2009 at 12:19pm

yOU SOUND LIKE A WONDERFUL LOVING WOMAN. pART OF THE REASON IS BECAUSE OF YOUR MOM, WHETER NEGATIVE OR POSITIVE. KEEP IN TOUCH WITH YIUR MOM. MY MOM IS NO LONGER AKIVE, BUT SHE WOULD AGREE IF SHE WERE WRITING THIS TO YOU. MAY GOD RICHLY BLESS YOU. DONNA

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Permalink Reply by Lucinda on April 27, 2009 at 9:20pm

I understand mother's daughter's son' don't always get along, but you need to think about this, you only get one mother, and one father, and then it becomes step mother and father.

I understand they get on your nerves, and you can't take it, but you need to talk to your mother, if something to ever happens to her, you are going to wish you had spoke to her, so go over there and just let her be the mother she is, and expect her as she is, 2 moths is a long time to not talk to your mother, you need to tell her how you are feeling, about how she is treating you, and then after that, give her a big hug and say I love you.

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Permalink Reply by Lucinda on April 27, 2009 at 9:24pm

I understand mother's daughter's son' don't always get along, but you need to think about this, you only get one mother, and one father, and then it becomes step mother and father.

you need to go talk to her, let her know how much you love her, and tell her how you feel, because not talking to your mother is not making anything better between you both, 2 months is to long to not talk to each other, if something happens to her, you are going to regret it, so take some time off of your schedule and go over there.

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Permalink Reply by K Diva on May 24, 2009 at 10:40am

This is what my relationship has resulted into as well. We did speak on her birthday and have spoken and txt since but I keep it very neutral with her. Like you, I just can't do it anymore. One of my sisters is still the softie with her but I can not do it and I think my Mom is getting the message. To whom much is given much is required.

EmptyNester said:

Kem, I haven't spoken to my own mom in several months. She has a way of always pressing the wrong buttons....relentlessly. I refuse to be abused. I recognize her as my mother, but I will not participate in a relationship
that may pop an aneurysm. If she needs anything, I help as much as I can. But I will not subject myself to the constant judging and irritation that comprises being with her. I hear my sisters with her on the phone and I just can't do it anymore.
I'm too old for the stress. God forgive me.
I know the Word says "Do not despise your mother in her old age." But contact with her produces just that. So no contact keeps me saner and with fewer ill feelings toward her. It's not ideal, but it's all I know to do at this point.

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Permalink Reply by K Diva on May 24, 2009 at 10:43am

PERFECT!!!!!

Debby said:

It's perfectly okay to tell her you need a break from her. I do this a lot, my mother likes to talk about her abusive past.

It would be perfectly okay to also tell her your discussions will be limited by these 3 guidelines

Is it the truth?
Is it necessary?
Is it NICE?

When you suspect she's over stepped one of these then you tell her you'll call her back another time when she is better about being nice.

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Permalink Reply by Sara Broers on May 24, 2009 at 2:37pm

This is a tough one.....But, as I have gotten older and wiser I have begun to realize being angry about any situation is not any answer! Dig down deep and find a way to make the relationship work! One of you needs to be the strong person. Good Luck!

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Permalink Reply by K Diva on May 25, 2009 at 10:20am

Point well taken. My mother is a very wise woman and I love her deeply. Like your motto I am choosing not to be angry when she get's in her "mood". Plus I practice this rule - everything you think does not have to come out of your mouth!!!

Sara Broers said:

This is a tough one.....But, as I have gotten older and wiser I have begun to realize being angry about any situation is not any answer! Dig down deep and find a way to make the relationship work! One of you needs to be the strong person. Good Luck!

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Permalink Reply by heather manley on May 26, 2009 at 9:50pm

wow tough....

at one point many years ago, one of my sisters and I just didn't connect ( we really never had fully esp., after our mom died) but we decided to spend time doing things together that we both liked and didn't put ourselves in positions that could potentially start a disagreement.

now we talk about everything and have full respect of our different beliefs and such. i say try really hard to re connect - it will be well worth it.

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