My daughter being rude to my new boyfriend

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Permalink Reply by Wendy Fields on June 24, 2009 at 10:49am

It takes time have you tried having her father around in front of your boyfriend,so she could see that he's OK with it,she might think that if daddy don't like him I won't either, and a brake up of mom and dad is hard for any child at any age. just keep encouraging him (the boyfriend) to be open to her,and to not try to win her over by buying her things but reading to her playing with her watching some of her favorite shows with her etc...

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Permalink Reply by Teri on June 24, 2009 at 11:41am

Well first of all how long have you and her dad been apart? Having a new boyfriend too soon can be devasting to children. Personally I think waiting for awhile after dating to introduce the two should be better. But since there are issues I think you need to make sure you and your daughter are still spending time together More than you and boyfriend. Your daughter should come first and her feelings. The boyfriend should understand. Give her time and encourage her to talk to you about her feelings. It is hard to help you without know all the details for all sides. But hopefully things will get better

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Permalink Reply by Lucinda on June 25, 2009 at 5:33pm

Look Tammy, you have to understand she is only 6 and a half yrs. old, she is going to speak her mind, on what she sees, she don't understand that her mother and father is not together any more, and why is this strange man coming in to our home, and not my daddy. You need to put your self in to her shoes as a little girl again, and see her point of view.

the boyfriend needs to do the same, I understand what she is saying hurts him, but he needs to quiet worrying about him self, and worry more about the baby that is wondering what happened to her father. He needs to take it more slower then usual, I understand you say he has been nothing but nice to her, tell him to keep that up, she will understand later, remember she is only 6.

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Permalink Reply by Pamala on June 25, 2009 at 5:40pm

Don't introduce men to your children unless you plan to marry them. That way you avoid this. She's going to act this way because her world has been turned upside down. She doesn't get it.

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Permalink Reply by Hannah Anderson on June 26, 2009 at 8:14am

My parents divorced when I was six. It took me a long time to warm up to her new boyfriend, which she ended up marrying and is now my step-dad. She had never brought home any other guy, he was the only one that was in our home besides my dad. Looking back, I applaud my mother for putting herself out there and dating again because a lot of men dont want the baggage of children from previous relationships. You should try sitting down with your daughter and explaining that no one will replace her father, ever; but that you need to have a man around the house to open jars and fix things for you. This might help her understand. I am happy with how my life turned out; after my mom married my step-dad, we moved homes, but stayed in the same city. I also think that helped with the change of houses so maybe she wont think that your boyfriend is intruding on "your ex's boundries."
I also agree with what was said from the other women here; make sure your daughter knows that she comes first and make sure you are spending lots of time with her, not just with your new fling. And deffinitly if this relationship doesn't work out, make sure you dont bring another man home unless you are going to marry him. It will spare all the heartache and headache. I hope that things work out for you and that all the advice helps :)

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Permalink Reply by tammy grimes on June 26, 2009 at 11:24am

Thank u so much for the quick reply and wonderful advise. I love your story too. This really helps me alot. Thank u again. Take care.


Hannah Anderson said:

My parents divorced when I was six. It took me a long time to warm up to her new boyfriend, which she ended up marrying and is now my step-dad. She had never brought home any other guy, he was the only one that was in our home besides my dad. Looking back, I applaud my mother for putting herself out there and dating again because a lot of men dont want the baggage of children from previous relationships. You should try sitting down with your daughter and explaining that no one will replace her father, ever; but that you need to have a man around the house to open jars and fix things for you. This might help her understand. I am happy with how my life turned out; after my mom married my step-dad, we moved homes, but stayed in the same city. I also think that helped with the change of houses so maybe she wont think that your boyfriend is intruding on "your ex's boundries."
I also agree with what was said from the other women here; make sure your daughter knows that she comes first and make sure you are spending lots of time with her, not just with your new fling. And deffinitly if this relationship doesn't out, make sure you dont bring another man home unless you are going to marry him. It will spare all the heartache and headache. I hope that things work out for you and that all the advice helps :)

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Permalink Reply by tammy grimes on June 26, 2009 at 11:27am

U r so very right and I tend to forget that her mind is not thinking like mine. I expect her sometimes to act or think like me cuz we are with eachother so much by ourselves that I treat her like as if shes my friend. Thank u for your wonderful advise. Its very appreciated. Take care


Lucinda said:

Look Tammy, you have to understand she is only 6 and a half yrs. old, she is going to speak her mind, on what she sees, she don't understand that her mother and father is not together any more, and why is this strange man coming in to our home, and not my daddy. You need to put your self in to her shoes as a little girl again, and see her of view.

the boyfriend needs to do the same, I understand what she is saying hurts him, but he needs to quiet worrying about him self, and worry more about the baby that is wondering what happened to her father. He needs to take it more slower then usual, I understand you say he has been nothing but nice to her, tell him to keep that up, she will understand later, remember she is only 6.

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Permalink Reply by tammy grimes on June 26, 2009 at 11:46am

Thank u for your wonderful advise and your totally right. this is not going to happen overnite. I also need to have him play with her more. Thank u again.

Wendy Fields said:

It takes time have you tried having her father around in front of your boyfriend,so she could see that he's OK with it,she might think that if daddy don't like him I won't either, and a brake up of mom and dad is hard for any child at any age. just keep encouraging him (the boyfriend) to be open to her,and to not try to win her over by buying her things but reading to her playing with her watching some of her favorite shows with her etc...

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