MY HUSBAND WAS SENDING NAKED PICTURES OF HIMSELF ONLINE!!

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Permalink Reply by Jessica on December 4, 2008 at 3:16pm

What a selfish &^%$! I hate to tell you this, but if he's already gone as far as exchanging X Rated pics with another women, it's a sign he's already checked out of your relationship. I say this out of my own experience with the father of my two children. I woke up one night soon after my first son was born to catch him masturbating to porn. It soon progressed to him flirting with someone he worked with, and then him not coming home until morning. I never had to guess about what was happening, and neither do you. Some guys are not cut out for fatherhood- the stress is too much for them because of personal issues with immaturity and narcisism. NONE OF THIS IS YOUR FAULT. I went through hell during the counseling phase, and it didn't really make things better. Not to mention, I lost even more sleep between my newborn's needs and trying to salvage the relationship. I really feel for you, I know you're exhausted, and it's a huge slap in the face. Here you have sacrificed your time and emotions for this new family, and the one person you should be able to count on has basically walked out. Save yourself a ton of grief and have a moving company come and gather all of his things and set them outside. Change the locks and meet with an attorney. He will beg and plead, but since he's already made friends with a tramp, she can make room in her home for him. Needless to say, he will still have to be a part of his daughter's life, but right now you have to be strong for your daughter. She senses all of the vibes you are giving off due to stress and studies have shown this affects a baby in numerous ways. Lean on family and friends for support, and you'll do fine. Seperation and Divorce are hard and you will go through some rough spots, but I have seen this happen to one too many women, and things rarely work out for the couple after the guy's been 'caught'. If he insists on talking, try not to sound too blaming, but maje it very clear about where you stand. You have every right to know about the other woman, but don't expect him to go into too much detail. Ultimately, it is up to you to determine if this relationship is salvageable, and I do wish you and your baby the absolute best.

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Permalink Reply by Dextine on December 4, 2008 at 9:36pm

I want to say that I am so sorry for your upset. I know at the time you were very upset and had very right to be, but I believe if you can find it in yourself to talk with your husband and explain to him how this makes you feel, and then take it from there. I also suggest counseling. But at no time should you ever feel that this is your fault. This is probably not first time he has done something like this, it is just the first time that he has been caught. I know you want your marriage to work so I suggest some counseling. I wish you the best of luck. And like I always say Keep your head up at all times. and remember your children need you most.

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Permalink Reply by sabrina on December 5, 2008 at 8:49am

Wow- I am so sorry that you are going through this. I had a friend who went through something similar. They didn't have any kids yet, they were newlyweds. She found naked pictures of him on his computer when she was looking for something else. She freaked out and ended up getting into his email account and that's when she discovered that he was exchanging naked pics with some chick that i think he met online. The ended up getting a divorce in the end.
I'm not saying that's the best choice for you, but that it was the best choice for them. I suggest that when you can stay calm and collect you talk to your husband about it one night after the baby is asleep and find out why he did it. If its b/c of the lack of sex life (and i have a feeling that it is), then work on it. it is so very, very hard after you have a baby to want to get intimate with your husband, i know i've been there. i think we all have. But its something that is so very important in a marriage. I don't agree with the other poster about if you husband wants sex, you must give it up. that's total crap. if you both aren't in the mood then its not fun and its not worth it b/c he'll just get even more pissed and you both will just end up resenting each other over it. this is was i think, once you guys talk about it and get to the bottom of things, i think you need to plan an adult night. after you put the baby to bed, enjoy a nice glass of wine (or two lol, don't worry its ok while you are breast feeding to have a glass of wine) to relax yourself and then head to the bedroom. If you're feeling bad about your body (i hated my body after both babies were born), then leave the lights off. Things will fall into place from there.
Just remember that your husband loves you!! he married you b/c you are the light of his life and that he couldn't imagine spending the rest of his life with anyone else!! People make mistakes, we're only human. i know its hard to deal with what he has done but i do believe in second chances and if he truely loves you (and i'm sure he does) then you guys will get past this. Just talk about it and most importantly--stay calm. no name calling and no yelling. and if you feel like you are about to start yelling at him, take off an article of clothing. i'm not joking. you will stun the crap out of him and the yelling will stop (and if it doesn't then keep taking something off). i've heard from a lot of old people that if you are about to get into an arguement, get naked first. it worked for them, they've all been married for 50 and 60 years. so anyway, good luck and please keep us posted. :o)

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Permalink Reply by Wharf Rat on December 5, 2008 at 11:26am

You have no interest in sex, yet you have a problem that he does?

I'd say the problem is all yours. Do you expect your man to lose his sex drive just because you lost yours?

If you want to keep the marriage together, you're supposed to keep up your end of the deal. You already lost this one, maybe you'll do better at your duties with the next one.

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Permalink Reply by Rosa Maria Jesusa Francesca Rodriguez on December 5, 2008 at 1:16pm

Aye dios mio! No sabes nada! Yore husband es trying to get his orgasmo since you no give him es sex. When I had my babies mi husband was muy córneo and wanted es sex right after I had baby. So we had es sex in the hospital. That is how I's got pregnant otra vez

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Permalink Reply by Shay V. D'Busch on December 5, 2008 at 1:57pm

You're a frigid, dry woman. What did you expect?

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Permalink Reply by MoparMOM on December 5, 2008 at 8:00pm

I bet you liked it when your husband put his hand on your neck and called YOU a disgusting slut while getting you preggerz...

POT calling the kettle black... just sayin

Give the dude something... do you really expect him to deal with your shit for 9 months, then deal with it MORE afterwards?

I sure hope Jesus can save you. Good luck.

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Permalink Reply by Shay V. D'Busch on December 5, 2008 at 11:34pm

sadly, the only thing he's choking these days is the one eyed trouser serpent.

MoparMOM said:

I bet you liked it when your husband put his hand on your neck and called YOU a disgusting slut while getting you preggerz...

POT calling the kettle black... just sayin

Give the dude something... do you really expect him to deal with your shit for 9 months, then deal with it MORE afterwards?

I sure hope Jesus can save you. Good luck.

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Permalink Reply by ShaRhonda Crow on December 8, 2008 at 9:58am

You are in my prayers. You are going to get lots of advice on this subject, some you want, some you do not. I went through a similar situation dealing w/ my ex-spouse and sexual addiction. I also encourage counseling. If you would like, send me a private email and maybe we could discuss this further. ShaRhonda

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Permalink Reply by Sandra Simms on December 9, 2008 at 1:13pm

I don't know what to tell you about the naked pictures. I think that's crossing the line. But I had to leave my man because he kept cheating for real. I'm raising his kids by myself and I sort of wish he had only been sending naked pictures and not physically cheating. I think you should try to work it out. It's not too late.

It's funny that you wrote in to "Amy vs. John" at WEtv. I always read that column because they have the best questions! Plus I like how the two of them disagree with each other. It really feels like they're married. Anyway, good luck. I think you should just try to talk it out.

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Permalink Reply by Lindsy on December 9, 2008 at 3:30pm

I am sorry this happened to you. No one deserves to be hurt. Before you listen to anyone telling you throw the bum out, think about the "whys". First you want to find out if he has a legitimate problem. Is he a sex addict? Second you have to remember none of this is your fault. In life you have choices. He made this choice, he has to own it not you.

If there are problems in the marriage, they are never solved by either party turning outside the marriage looking for whatever they may feel is missing.

Find out the extent of what he is doing, see if he is willing to go for counseling, make sure you leave no stone unturned to save your marriage. When you have done all you can, should you choose to then walk away, you will leave knowing you did everything you could have done.

Good luck sweetie...I'll keep you in my thoughts

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Permalink Reply by lucinda notsch on December 9, 2008 at 3:30pm

Hey ,,Hun so sorry your husband did this,, i can not think of a single kind word for he actions ,,but i do feel so so sorry you had to see that,i cant imagine what you are going threw,, i wish i could hold your hand and tell it will be alright but I'm on the computer so so much for that thought Please don't blame your self,hold your baby and think about it you will figure out whats best for you all my thoughts and prayers are for you,god bless and be safe,sound and think before you act love Lady lucy

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