my maternity leave is up but I don't want to go back!!!

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Permalink Reply by NC Mom on January 20, 2009 at 7:32am

That's a hard choice to make, but if you feel that strong about it,then you should be home with the kids. Especially if you are ok financially! So many Mom's don't have that choice, the way the economy is today. Maybe you can find something to do from home that won't be so stressful. It's a hard choice to make, but if your heart is not in it then I would let the job go. Maybe you are just dreading going back, and could try it out for a month and then if you still feel that strong, resign.
Best wishes in what ever you decide!

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Permalink Reply by Mod Mom on January 20, 2009 at 12:15pm

I think you should do whatever your instinct is telling you. No one can make the decision but you!! Good Luck!
-Mod Mom

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Permalink Reply by captaincarebear on January 20, 2009 at 1:59pm

Yes I think you should if that is what your heart is telling you to do. You can always restart a career but you can't get back those years with your kids. I just completed 2 years of maternity with my third child and am contemplating giving up an 18 year teaching career because I realize my heart is with my own kids right now and mentally I don't feel I'm up to the challenge of working and raising my family. I know my own limits. Unfortionately, we're at the end of our financial rope so I may have no choice but to go back to dreaded work and it kills me inside since being home with mommy is all my son knows and loves.

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Permalink Reply by Michaleen on January 21, 2009 at 3:10pm

You sure do sound ready to stay home! I believe you will not regret it - give yourself permission to resign and stay home and enjoy your sweet baby! Nothing could be better for you or for her :-)

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Permalink Reply by DeeJay Quick on January 21, 2009 at 10:32pm

"Follow your gut" is what my mom has always told me! Six kids later, I'm finally getting it! I agree, they can replace you at work but there is never a replacement for mom! My last two little ones are the only ones I've been able to stay home with and it makes me sad that I missed all of what I experience with them, with my older children. Financially, it was tough but I also started a homebased biz that has turned out to be quite successful (my husband is now home too) because I felt I needed to "do my part". I think you'll agree that being a stay at home mom is not easy but so much more rewarding for everyone involved!
If you REALLY want extra help with the $$ part, I can help you. You can have your cake and eat it too! :)
Deejay

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Permalink Reply by Vicki on January 21, 2009 at 11:11pm

I just spent 6 months at home with my 11 yo daughter who was diagnosed with leukemia. I never had problems going back to work after any of the other kids, even if I did work off shifts, so it wasn't so drastic. But these last weeks, knowing I HAD to go back to work, or not have a job as a single parent really sucked. I actually like being at work, but I just feel so much stress and pull for me to be with my daughter. She has a couple more months of therapy before she will be able to return to school. We have developed an attached hip, so we are both suffering withdrawals.

My advice, beats me, but you aren't alone in your thinking.

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Permalink Reply by ame i. on January 22, 2009 at 7:47am

I stopped working when I was pregnant with my 11 year old daughter. I had to make major adjustments to the household budget, but I've had the time of my life being available for my girls. (I have a 9year old, also.)
I did take my girls to a Parents Day Out program twice a week when they were toddlers, and they both went to Pre-K for 2 years. Doing so gave me time to "catch up" around the house so I could concentrate on them more.
I was widowed 5 years ago and because I don't work outside the home, I was able to spend the days and weeks after my first husband's death cuddling my girls.
I re-married 15 months ago. My husband is glad I stay home because it means we don't have to spend weekends catching up on errands and tasks.
I love being able to take my girls to school (2 different schools) and pick them up in the afternoons, not having to worry about how to get them to soccer practice,swimming, etc.
I will probably return to work when my older girl gets her drivers license, but I'm in no hurry.

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Permalink Reply by Corinne Paulsen on February 5, 2009 at 6:24pm

Your kids are only kids for a short while. If you have the opportunity to stay home with them, then go for it. You can always go back to work once the youngest starts school. And since you're in the medical/healthcare industry you will always be able to find a job. It sounds like you once loved your job but have found family is more important...that's the same reason I left active duty in the Air Force. It's important to like your job but your family is always with you and they are what matters. So if your husband can support you guys while you be a stay at home mom you should do it. Yo could always work part time somewhere less stressful if you guys need extra cash.

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Permalink Reply by Heidi on February 5, 2009 at 7:43pm

Follow your heart. You will never get these days back with your kids.

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Permalink Reply by Gloria on February 6, 2009 at 12:06pm

Oh, that ugly decision, especially when money is involved. But when you have a family and have gotten into the rotote of being the in charge person, that also becomes a job. Why oh why is not labled as such is beyond me, it is just a given that once our female chrosomes take over, and we revamp ourselves through the different levels of female hood, the young flirt, the sexy 20 something, the eventually to marry and then the rest of the nursery rhyme first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carraige. It is just condenced into phases of existence, and "the house" as though any housewife who has ever taken care of a house is no stranger to another stranger her self. It is implicated that we are just the "can do" person. And guess what we can, but there is still that nagging voice that registers just under the skin of how many people get this "can do person" also has a life. Well what about that? to the pro-female workers out there, it is like "get real". There is no money to be made, that also dictates into immediate power play, where the husband becomes the main bread winner. We also are painfully aware of the economy as well, and now (how dare you) are going to dump your job? Are you nuts would be some of the rhetoric, very few today are sympathetic regarding mothers and staying home. Until you speak to women routinely regarding what happens to the women on the highest rungs on the ladder, regarding how their coampanies are set up, and how exacting the rules are to recieve benefits, entitlements, bonuses, raises, promotions, and other goals that most be matched in order to keep the coampany profile as a competive and challenging work place. Any other area is gray, including women who go back part time and lose their original net worth to job, or will not be in the same status any longer, good by paid vactations, good by 401k's, good by to paid sick days and what other limits will be incorperated. So you either take the long look as a female in the work place and your value to which you have much, since you do not have children and don't have make such choices. Or you rough it out, and try your best to find someone that will be as much of a care provider to your children so you will have peace of mind while you work. It isn't easy, I wish you much luck!

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Permalink Reply by Vicki on February 6, 2009 at 8:14pm

After starting my family at 28, I was able to stay home with my children until the youngest started kindergarten. We were not well off, (LOTS of macaroni & fish sticks) but I have never regretted my decision. It has taken me 7 years to get back to the salary level I was at when I began my family 19 years ago. Here is what you will face one day. How did they grow up so fast? If you can make it without your salary'. it will bw the best investment in their lives and your memories.that you will ever make. You can always go back to work. Especially when they hit preteen years because you will never see them much after that. Good luck and God bless. Follow your heart

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Permalink Reply by Vicki on February 6, 2009 at 8:22pm

Vicki Faucett said:

After starting my family at 28, I was able to stay home with my children until the youngest started kindergarten. We were not well off, (LOTS of macaroni & fish sticks) but I have never regretted my decision. It has taken me 7 years to get back to the salary level I was at when I began my family 19 years ago. Here is what you will face one day. How did they grow up so fast? If you can make it without your salary'. it will be the best investment in their lives and your memories.that you will ever make. You can always go back to work. Especially when they hit preteen years because you will never see them much after that. Good luck and God bless. Follow your heart

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