SAHM Rut?

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Permalink Reply by Katie Lyons on April 25, 2009 at 12:17pm

It is hard, isn't it? I suggest seeing if there is a group of moms in your town that does play dates. There is one in mine that meets at the park every week, it's a lot of fun! I also have a lot of family really close that I get to go spend time with, and that has helped a lot.
You could also get a group of friends that have a women-only night out once a month or more. That's a fun thing to do as well that helps you find yourself again (you know, your non-mom self)
Hope you figure it out!

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Permalink Reply by Pamela Kramer on April 25, 2009 at 12:22pm

Oh my goodness do I feel your pain! I'm serious. Why do you think most of us blog!!! We are trying to keep from losing our minds.

The park with a track is good. Everything depends on their ages really. I hardly get out alone ever! If I do I go recharge with a good comedy at the movies. You have to get out of your house.

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Permalink Reply by Michelle on April 25, 2009 at 12:33pm

Make a schedule and include when to clean, activities for your kids and don't forget about outings! Outings are important to keep you sane!

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Permalink Reply by COURTNEY HARPER on April 25, 2009 at 12:35pm

Hi Amy...Boy, do I feel your pain! :)

I am diagnosed with scoliosis and Fibromyalgia...and found out one week ago today that I am expecting.....(my 3rd and my husband's 1st). I have to say, while Moms groups CAN be helpful, sometimes I end up leaving even worse, especially when the conversation centers around how much they got done that morning, or the perfect apple pie they plan on baking when the play date is over....I'm sitting there just proud of myself that I showered and managed to switch the wet load to the dryer. :)

What works for me? I know it sounds INCREDIBLY CHEESY but sometimes spending time (an hour or two) at the closest Borders or Barnes N Noble....smoothie or sweet coffee in hand, and picking out books, mags and more on my fav subjects gets me in a mindset that remembers there is more to my ambition than vaccuuming the house or getting the dishwasher unloaded.

Also, walking in a new part of the neighborhood (new to me, anyway)....just by myself. I get to see the foliage, the nature, the work being done on houses, people (especially now) getting their gardens started, and it takes me back to my own motivation to accomplish things around my house. Not because it's a race, but because I think of that other neighborhood Mom having a bad day - maybe when she walks past my freshly painted bird house, or my sprouting tomato plant (this is my first year planting a garden!), it will inspire her to get some things done, too!

Good luck with your day, and above all else, just remember .... "this feeling is temporary"!

Smiles,
Court

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Permalink Reply by Jessica Shepherd on April 25, 2009 at 12:41pm

I also suggest play dates! Im a blogger ;)

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Permalink Reply by Ebby on April 26, 2009 at 12:19am

I'm totally in the same place you are, 17 month old and a 4 month old that I'm at home with and haven't done anything really productive for "myself" in the past 2 years, I kinda finally broke down about it this week combined with lots of other things going on in my life, play dates are great distractions but I'm thinking more along the lines of distance learning for myself if I can budget it in so I have something that makes me feel like I'm still learning and doing something for the future self.

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Permalink Reply by Amy Lipski on April 26, 2009 at 7:54am

Yes, Future self is important!!! Wow, 17 mos and 4 mos? My son is 10 and my daughter is 16 months, it's just so crazy busy all the time and I could really use some time. It feels like all the sahm's I know have their crap together. They have routines they can stick to, healthy, fit, find time for themselves, I just don't get why I can seem to do the same? I have an understanding husband who would move mountains to make me feel at peace and content and I am so lucky for that. What's my problem? So good to hear other momma's feel the same way though. ;-)

Ebby said:

I'm totally in the same place you are, 17 month old and a 4 month old that I'm at home with and haven't done anything really productive for "myself" in the past 2 years, I kinda finally broke down about it this week combined with lots of other things going on in my life, play dates are great distractions but I'm thinking more along the lines of distance learning for myself if I can budget it in so I have something that makes me feel like I'm still learning and doing something for the future self.

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Permalink Reply by Ebby on April 26, 2009 at 11:30am

Well for me the only me time I really get is at the gym for 1.5 hrs 3 days a week, which to some people is considered great I guess, but before babies I used to go 5 days a week 2 hours a day, if I had that kind of time I'd be back from postpartum saggy a bit faster even I bet, but when I'm there I sometimes feel I need to rush home rather than really enjoying my time there, because sometimes a baby bomb can go off and I feel guilty not being here to help with stuff when I do take time away. Its school or a part time job for me I think, I really feel the need to be a part of society outside my life right now, but I'm feeling conflicted by the fact I don't want anyone else to have to look after my babies, being the control freak I am about raising them and having structure/routine in their lives, I'd be scared everything I've done with my toddler to get her sleeping well and starting to learn to obey would be thrown out the window if say grandma were to look after them on weekends often. Its definetly harder for me these days to just let go when I feel like I'm not really holding on to anything if that makes sense.

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Permalink Reply by Sara Broers on April 26, 2009 at 6:38pm

My kids are older now, but I have been in your shoes. I do agree that we all need to find a purpose for each day. Just some things that I did through the years I was a sahm with my two boys.........Park with play dates was a good one when the weather cooperated. I taught Sunday School for several years, but now help with youth group. By having a Sunday School lesson to prepare, I had a purpose and felt useful. A workout at a local YMCA or CURVES can give you the adult contact and fitness that our bodies need. Anyway, just some thoughts from a Mom that has been there!

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Permalink Reply by Ms. Monica on April 27, 2009 at 8:16pm

I feel you, girl. I felt like that. Then I decided to go get a job. I did seasonal work and then got over it. LOL. Nothing like a hard days work that makes you appreciate the privilege of being at home with your child. I guess what it is is that when you are a SAHM once you've accomplish getting things at home the way you want them, I guess the word would be organized, you are ready to move to the next task. We always have an ever constant need to accomplish something. To create a goal and execute it. Sometimes I feel so smart and at the same time I feel like I am wasting those smarts staying at home. I feel like I have so much potential but I am not using it. And it just lays dormant in me wanting to get out. And then when it does get out I get all these ideas of things I want to accomplish. So I work toward what I can accomplish.

I say try starting a home business. You can start it just because you want to with the perks of making a little money. Or you can start it for the purpose of making money. Or just to get out of the house and away from the kids. Take out a nice fresh page of new file on MS Word and type down some ideas on what you would like to do and what things make you happy. And then see what or how you can expand on those things. Create some goals and work toward them. i just think you are looking for self-fulfillment. You'll find it.

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Permalink Reply by Alethea Anderson on April 27, 2009 at 9:12pm

I've been a SAHM since 2002 and I LOVE it! I decided to start a home business on the side so I could contribute to the household income. So now I'm not only a SAHM but a WAHM (I guess we ALL are WAHMs no matter what!)

Maybe look at meetup.com for some groups? You may find book clubs, scrapbooking, or any other hobbies you have!

Alethea Anderson

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