The Busy Trap

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Permalink Reply by Angela Marion {pricousins} on April 14, 2009 at 7:25am

Suzie,

I am so guilty of this but as a single mom I have very limited options. I do not do alot of things and I know how to say no but I'm still overwhelmed sometimes and Tired ALOT!

i read your article - it brought tears to my eyes - thank you for sharing that with me. I need that today as I mourn the loss of my mother. God Bless You.

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Permalink Reply by T. Suzanne Eller on April 14, 2009 at 8:01am

Angela, How can friends and family help single moms? I think your response is honest and introduces another aspect that we have to consider. Thanks so much!

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Permalink Reply by Angela Marion {pricousins} on April 14, 2009 at 10:52am

I don't have many friends and my family lives over an hour and a half from me. I am virtually alone.

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Permalink Reply by T. Suzanne Eller on April 14, 2009 at 11:25am

Wish some of us were closer to you!

Angela Marion {pricousins} said:

I don't have many friends and my family lives over an hour and a half from me. I am virtually alone.

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Permalink Reply by Julie Albin on April 20, 2009 at 5:50pm

Hi, Suzanne. Thank you for sharing your article. After reading it, I must confess that I frequently fold laundry after midnight. All kidding aside, for me balance is not about doing a little bit of everything, but doing the one or two things that take precedence for that day. When I find myself feeling like my life is out of balance, it's usually because I have failed to keep the main thing the main thing.

Tomorrow's top priorities are introducing a new mom to a local MOPS meeting, working on my monthly newsletter, and serving at a homeless shelter with my daughters. If I do those things well, I can fold my laundry knowing that all is well with my soul. :-)

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Permalink Reply by Breezeesmom on April 22, 2009 at 3:16pm

Prioritize. Realize what would happen if you were not around. Not everything needs to be done by you. Underschedule. Downtime, time to regenerate is a commandment. If the devil can't make you bad, he will make you busy.

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Permalink Reply by Breezeesmom on April 22, 2009 at 3:34pm

Angela Marion {pricousins} said:

I don't have many friends and my family lives over an hour and a half from me. I am virtually alone.

Angela,

You have to get connected. I was a single mom for over ten years. It is A LOT of work, exhausting and lonely. Get connected in any kind of group that interests you, especially Christian groups. Look for a single parents group at a church. Just take it a step at a time. God has connection for you. That's His plan.

I found a couple of single parent groups and a single moms group that really helped a lot. It also helps to be around healthy, Christian, in tact families for balance, support, encouragement and modeling. Please feel free to email me any time at teachnterp@yahoo.com. I would love to encourage you. It is tough!

One strategy that worked for me was to underschedule. I took care of my daughter, worked and then focused on one place, group I could cultivate relationship and support. Baby steps. You cannot eat the whole elephant in one bite. God is your partner. He is there with and for you. Make sure you are filling yourself up. You cannot give from nothing.

God is with you, holding you and your kid(s). I really encourage you to get connected to other Christians who can love on you and the kids. Let them be God's hands and feet to you.

I will be praying for you Angela! ~ Kristie

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Permalink Reply by Megan Spears on April 22, 2009 at 4:47pm

Guilt and Worry.

I found that I spent way too much time worrying or feeling guilty for not doing enough or doing too much. I have learn over time that I will never be in control, that's His job. I do what I can when I have the time and I when I am feeling overwhelmed or too busy... I have to stop and breathe. Prayer helps too! :)

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Permalink Reply by Megan Spears on April 22, 2009 at 4:48pm

P.S. Great topic Suzanne!

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Permalink Reply by Breezeesmom on May 5, 2009 at 11:48am

Great book and website on the topic: Refuel by Doug Fields (little book, easy read, more difficult to implement); http://www.saddleback.com/refuel/index.html Lots of resources here: refuel videos with Doug, small group discussion questions and personal bible study, and more. Heard something great at a retreat this weekend, "What can I do for you today God? What is on YOUR agenda for me today?" Paradigm shift for me.

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