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I'm leaving this a little early because I'm heading out of town for the next few days. But, I'll be checking in and can't wait to hear what you guys are saying.
Mama's Got a Fake I.D. by Caryn Dahlstrand Rivadeneira
Intro and Chapter 1:
Okay ladies…let’s kick this off.
One thing I’m starting to realize about this book is that there are a lot of very deep and very personal issues that arise as I’m reading it. I believe this is a real opportunity for us to really get to know one another, and build friendships that go beyond cyber-greetings. I hope that you will feel comfortable sharing and that we can grow as a group as we grow personally from the lessons this book has to teach us. I can’t wait to see where this leads.
I don’t know about the rest of you, but motherhood rocked my world. It threw me in a way that I never expected and wasn’t prepared for. The first six months as a new mom were a real struggle as I tried to find my comfort zone as a mother and figure out what that meant for the rest of me.
I became a mom before I became a Christian. Talk about identity crisis! As I struggled to fit into a role I wasn’t sure I was meant to fill, I found I had no one to turn to and little to pull from my past that could help me. The worst part of my struggle was the feeling that I was in it totally alone.
I can appreciate Mama’s Got a Fake I.D. on so many levels, but for me, the best part of this book is Caryn’s honesty and forthrightness that breaks the myth that we are alone in this struggle.
Have you struggled as I have? Let’s talk about the topics in the Introduction and Chapter One. . .
1.After becoming a mom, did you have a period of time where you struggled with your identity? Explain.
2.Have you ever felt guilty over feelings of wanting to be “more” than a mom?
3.What skills, abilities and strengths did you see surface after becoming a mom?
4.Caryn’s friend Shayne Moore was inspired to get involved with Bono’s ONE Campaign because she wanted to make the world a better place for her children. In what ways has being a mom inspired you to make a difference?
5.In what ways has motherhood “refined” who you are as a person? How are you “more of who God made you to be” as a result of being a mom?
We’ll take the rest of the book in chapter groups of three. So, in a couple of weeks, I’ll post more questions about Chapters 2, 3 and 4. Have a blessed two weeks!
Mama's Got a Fake I.D. by Caryn Dahlstrand Rivadeneira
Intro and Chapter 1:
Okay ladies…let’s kick this off.
One thing I’m starting to realize about this book is that there are a lot of very deep and very personal issues that arise as I’m reading it. I believe this is a real opportunity for us to really get to know one another, and build friendships that go beyond cyber-greetings. I hope that you will feel comfortable sharing and that we can grow as a group as we grow personally from the lessons this book has to teach us. I can’t wait to see where this leads.
I don’t know about the rest of you, but motherhood rocked my world. It threw me in a way that I never expected and wasn’t prepared for. The first six months as a new mom were a real struggle as I tried to find my comfort zone as a mother and figure out what that meant for the rest of me.
I became a mom before I became a Christian. Talk about identity crisis! As I struggled to fit into a role I wasn’t sure I was meant to fill, I found I had no one to turn to and little to pull from my past that could help me. The worst part of my struggle was the feeling that I was in it totally alone.
I can appreciate Mama’s Got a Fake I.D. on so many levels, but for me, the best part of this book is Caryn’s honesty and forthrightness that breaks the myth that we are alone in this struggle.
Have you struggled as I have? Let’s talk about the topics in the Introduction and Chapter One. . .
1.After becoming a mom, did you have a period of time where you struggled with your identity? Explain.
2.Have you ever felt guilty over feelings of wanting to be “more” than a mom?
3.What skills, abilities and strengths did you see surface after becoming a mom?
4.Caryn’s friend Shayne Moore was inspired to get involved with Bono’s ONE Campaign because she wanted to make the world a better place for her children. In what ways has being a mom inspired you to make a difference?
5.In what ways has motherhood “refined” who you are as a person? How are you “more of who God made you to be” as a result of being a mom?
We’ll take the rest of the book in chapter groups of three. So, in a couple of weeks, I’ll post more questions about Chapters 2, 3 and 4. Have a blessed two weeks!
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Breezeesmom on -
I am loving this book! I love that Caryn writes open and honestly about wanting to be her full self! I read from Suzanne that Caryn is receiving some flak from "traditional mom" perspective. If traditional mom is how you are being your full self, then go to it! For many of us, "traditional mom" leaves us with parts of ourselves untapped, on hold (which Caryn does say we might need to do for a while during a season - my paraphrase), frustrated, intellectually unchallenged, static, etc.
When I first became a mom to my now 15 year old daughter, I absolutely adored staying home with her. I couldn't imagine anything else. And, there was part of me that was restless and needed to be challenged. Going to grad school helped me with my restlessness and intellectual famine. I now have my son who is 2 1/2. I, again, absolutely adore staying at home with him, and at the same time, it is difficult for me. If I couldn't stay home with him, it would tear me apart, and I want deep intellectual stimulation and connection that I cannot get from laundry, dishes, housework or my 2-year-old. So, back to school (at night) I go this fall, when he will be three. My goal was to make it to three to go back to work part time, and I still may, only while he is in preschool a couple times a week, with a very flexible schedule to accommodate his schedule. During these three years, I have tried many things to stay sane. None of them were fulfilling like my previous careers. (Kind of like Caryn describes in her book. I can totally relate! :) And, I wouldn't trade the time at home with my children for anything.
I think it is so important to realize we are moms with many other dimensions to ourselves, recognize those aspects of ourselves and constantly be challenging ourselves to unpack and develop all the parts of ourselves God has gifted us.
I have never felt guilty about wanting to be "more than a mom," I think because I see it as being Mom. When I foster and cultivate parts of myself God gifted me with, I am a more full mom, and modeling for my children how to be their full selves, tapping and discovering all that God made them to be as well. We cannot do all things at all times, and there are times to discover what God has for us in each season. Just because we are Mom and wife, does not mean we stop there. Think of all the untapped gifts that would lay dormant in so many moms if we convinced ourselves those were the only two roles we could fulfill during our parenting season. I also think of how much resentment would build up in many moms (not all moms, but many) if we were hindered in growing, developing and discovering who God made us to be fully, in every season of our lives.
Just like God paraded all the animals before Adam before He presented him with Eve, building the yearning and anticipation of "someone like" him, not these hairy, four-legged creatures, God has built up in me a yearning and anticipation for the next chapter in my life when my son goes to school. I will appreciate what God has for me more because I have yearned for it these last three years.
I know after becoming a mom, everything changed. I wanted the best for my daughter. I wanted the world to be a better, safer, more conscientious place. I wanted to be the best Mom and person I could be for my daughter, and part of that was developing myself so I can give the best to her. It was more pressing for me to rid all the riff-raff of my life, and really do, read, think important things, Part of those important things is having fun with my kids. I refined who I was and what I believed about many things. I became more conscientious about my daily living, the impact I was making on my daughter, my family, my friends, my community and the world. Bettering and growing myself makes me a better mom to my kids.
God has brought me to places, experiences and people, I would have never imagined. I am open to His calling and what He has for my life, my full life, for me, my kids and my family.
I am so appreciative of Caryn's book. Moms are multidimensional people with gifts yet to be discovered in every season of our lives. I look forward to hearing other moms' experience with Caryn's book and experiences being Mom.
Thank you for facilitating Laura!
~Kristie
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