MILs / Grandma's advice is horrible

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Permalink Reply by Kate ~Mom to 2 Princesses~ on May 8, 2009 at 2:02pm

That is horrible advice! First of all even thinking that training an ANIMAL and a child are the same is sick. Thankfully before my MIL was my MIL she took full custody of my nephew from my absent/immature SIL and has seen first hand how she disciplined my nephew and my SD, so luckily I know what she will do and approve of it. I'm sorry your MIL is not so child friendly. Is your mom at least more reasonable?

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Permalink Reply by Zynique Pate on May 8, 2009 at 2:14pm

That is the biggest problem that I see with this also. I would never train my child the way I would train an animal. Those two don't even compare. Normally my MIL disciplines her in front of us. We know the methods that she uses because we had a discussion before our little one was born about what was okay to us and what was not. I think that the lines of communication really need to be open as well.

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Permalink Reply by Kimberly B on May 8, 2009 at 4:05pm

I agree 100% your MIL's advice was horrible! Each child learns at their own pace and as long as you are encouraging her and making going to the potty something that she wants to do (making it fun) that's all the needs to be done. She will go when she's ready.

I think now is the time when you really need to sit down and have a frank, open discussion with your MIL on what you consider proper discipline and what you consider improper discipline. Make sure she knows exactly how you feel and where you draw the line. Tell your MIL that you really do enjoy listening to her experiences and your sure you will have a lot to learn from her but ask that she respect your decision to discipline and teach your children the way you are comfortable with.
Tell her that although you really do appreciate her advice, you would never ever consider neglecting your child by leaving her to sit in her own filth or scold her or demean her in any way for making mistakes while she's trying to learn to use the potty. You want potty training to be a positive experience for her and not something that will make her shudder every time she is reminded of the experience. Although neither of you may agree on the how to go about this you both can still share in the enjoyment of the little sweetheart and that's all that really matters!

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Permalink Reply by Tanya Nechaeva on May 9, 2009 at 12:37pm

My own mom had 2 maids when we were little, and as a grandma she never wanted to BE with my children. To play - yes, but not to deal with the rest of it. At least it was clear that she was harmless.
Kate ~Mom to 2 Princesses~ said:

That is horrible advice! First of all even thinking that training an ANIMAL and a child are the same is sick. Thankfully before my MIL was my MIL she took full custody of my nephew from my absent/immature SIL and has seen first hand how she disciplined my nephew and my SD, so luckily I know what she will do and approve of it. I'm sorry your MIL is not so child friendly. Is your mom at least more reasonable?

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Permalink Reply by Tanya Nechaeva on May 9, 2009 at 12:47pm

I do not enjoy listening to my MIL's lectures on parenting. Sometimes I wish she would get a taste of her own advice (when she WILL be in diapers). When I mentioned that her approach to training and to disciplining is brutal, she told me "and it was not so bad when I raised your husband". She is in the league of her own. Sorry for venting out.

Kimberly B said:

I agree 100% your MIL's advice was horrible! Each child learns at their own pace and as long as you are encouraging her and making going to the potty something that she wants to do (making it fun) that's all the needs to be done. She will go when she's ready.

I think now is the time when you really need to sit down and have a frank, open discussion with your MIL on what you consider proper discipline and what you consider improper discipline. Make sure she knows exactly how you feel and where you draw the line. Tell your MIL that you really do enjoy listening to her experiences and your sure you will have a lot to learn from her but ask that she respect your decision to discipline and teach your children the way you are comfortable with.
Tell her that although you really do appreciate her advice, you would never ever consider neglecting your child by leaving her to sit in her own filth or scold her or demean her in any way for making mistakes while she's trying to learn to use the potty. You want potty training to be a positive experience for her and not something that will make her shudder every time she is reminded of the experience. Although neither of you may agree on the how to go about this you both can still share in the enjoyment of the little sweetheart and that's all that really matters!

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