It is an extremely difficult day for me,for it is the first Mother's Day without my beloved son, Roland.
My son was taken from me on February 1, 2009 (Pneumonia). It has been a sheer nightmare ever since!!! The pain is so raw, and so extensive, that I consider it ironic that we actually survive. My heart aches with every memory, and my soul is transparent, for there is nothing left for me, but empty steps. I am surrounded by the Mother's Day festvities, and wonder how this can be happening...do they not know that I am hurting!? It is the perfect time to question my faith---WHY??? This is an experience no parent should have to endure. I walked into my home, and the first thing that greeted
me, was his Christmas stocking, still hanging in the foyer---how cruel life can be! ( I had been
staying with a sister, for I did not have the courage to come home without my son there). I have
mourned the losses of my mother, father, sister, and brother. They were all heart-wrenching, and
after that, I was under the mistaken belief that I could handle anything life sent my way--how wrong I
was! My son's loss has humbled me to my knees, and driven me very close to the brink of insanity.
It challenges the tasks and functions of everyday life. The pain is so severe it cannot adequately be
described or explained. I miss my beloved son with a vengeance. I long for the warmth of his loving companionship, and ache for the sound of his happy, witty voice. He was my partner in crime, my
movie buddy, by breakfast companion, my shopping spree half...I am totally overwhelmed by the sorrow that accompanies his loss...how do I honestly continue, when my beautiful tomorrows now became my yesterdays? I miss him so desperately!!!!
me was his Christmas stocking, still hanging in the foyer---how cruel life is! I have mourned the deaths of my mother, father, a sister, and a brother