Teenage "risky" behavior

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Permalink Reply by Pat Williams on March 14, 2009 at 3:56pm

Tough call. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that parents are having to work hard to counteract the inundation of media telling the kids through song and visuals that sex is cool, awesome, and beyond their wildrest dreams. It's a challenge to break through with a message that opposes what they are hearing from a many sources at a time when they are trying to separate themselves from us, their parents.

The trick for me has been to have a great relationship with my kids and to not oppose the media. I tell my kids, that yes, sex can be all those things, IF certain criteria are in place. (for example, trust, self-esteem, maturity, safety) We discuss the criteria and determine how to recognize it. I also make sure they know they can come to me with ANY topic without judgement. I believe that telling them "NO" or threatening them with scare tactics is more likely to cause a rebellion and result in exactly the behavior I don't want. I choose to be open and honest with my children, so far it's worked, they still respect my opinion.

Of course, ask me again in 5 years when they're past this age. THAT will be the true proof of success or failure on my parenting techniques. ;)

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Permalink Reply by Jason W. Hurt, M.D. on March 20, 2009 at 11:18pm

I feel that respect of the parents has got to be in place before true trust can be established. I have one patient who I recently delivered, she is only seventeen, and I've taken care of her prior to her pregnancy. She used to come into clinic with her mother, and let me tell you she was a force to be reckoned with. All of the sudden, her mom stopped coming to visits and she was a totally different person. She obviously as respect issues to deal with concerning her mom. Now there is a cycle here as well.... her mother had her when she was only fourteen.... and now this patient has had a baby as a teenager as well. Parents have to set examples for chlidren/teenagers to follow. Yes, if good examples are set then trust and respect will be achieved, but I'm afraid if parents aren't willing to go the mile to be examples, respect and harmony may never be gained. Just my two cents worth, for what it's worth.
jason

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