Are YOU the Meanest Mom? You Could WIN Big!

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Lolli on February 19, 2009 at 7:35am

I am SO in the running for meanest Mom! Why? Well, first of all, I carry my camera around everywhere we go and (according to some young people around here) stalk my children. And then, after taking dozens of pictures of these kids, I post them on my blog for all the world to see.....along with all the embarrassing stories that go along with them. Just yesterday alone I blogged about my middle school daughter getting sick in front of her entire math class (yes, she threw up next to Mr. Math teacher's desk!). What could be worse for a 7th grader? Maybe having her mom tell thousands of people about it??

I'm sure my 3 year old son will appreciate the picture I posted of him yesterday wearing a blond, curly wig. Luckily, he doesn't care yet, so I can go on being mean without any repercussions.

I suppose some people could all me mean for making my kids eat things like beans and broccoli, and refusing to make a second dinner for those picky eaters. They should be thankful they're getting anything to eat, right? Geesh. It all comes down to the fact that I'm starving my 8 year old son. I am so mean.

Shall I go on? I could keep listing things like bedtime and morning family reading together at 7:00 am (how mean am I for waking kids up so EARLY??) but I think I'd better stop. Now pick me so that I can go spend some Mommy alone time and force my oldest daughter to babysit.....again!

Permalink Reply by Momatron5000 on February 19, 2009 at 2:15pm

I'm a terrible mother. I mean really, I'm mean with a capital M. Me and my boyfriend, partners in making our daughter as miserable as possible, often refuse to give her cookies for breakfast, making her eat applesauce, yogurt, and fruit instead. We wait until she's really into whatever show she's watching before we force her to go inside and play for at least an hour, even when that means she has to (gasp) put on a jacket. When I'm feeling particularly dastardly, I insist that she uses manners, which includes saying please, thank you, and of course, excuse me (instead of laughing) when she rips a big fart in the middle of breakfast.
Granted, Jana, I don't think anyone can ever top your "dirty socks as a pre-Christmas Christmas present" (which I almost peed myself reading at your blog) but I do try.

Permalink Reply by January on February 19, 2009 at 8:56pm

Aside from the fact that my oldest is almost 3 I am always pushing him to go potty, (potty training) #2 is what he's struggling with. But he told me today "run away momma" translation I'm going to run away mom... all because i was forcing him to sit on the potty. Alas I have so many more years to take away favorite toys, make him eat vegetables, ground him and not buy him everything he begs for, to be overprotective and so on. To my son I am the meanest mommy and for a long time coming...

Permalink Reply by Stephanie on February 19, 2009 at 9:09pm

I am starting early on my journey toward becoming the world's meanest mom. I have two children, and the oldest is 3. They have both have had a set bedtime since they were only a couple months old, and we stick to it. I refuse to shell out big bucks to clothe them in new clothes, feed them "kid-friendly" food, or entertain them with the latest toys. They have to eke out a pitiful existence wearing used clothes (the horror!), eating cheap and healthy food (we had cornmeal mush for breakfast today) and stacking canned foods instead of building blocks (no, seriously. Check this out: http://lifeat-ourhouse.blogspot.com/2009/02/post-about-two-things.html). I make them eat everything on their plates before they get a dessert (which is more likely to be a piece of fruit than a cookie).

When my 3-year-old falls off the entertainment center, I actually have the gall to tell her that it's her own fault because she's not supposed to be up there in the first place. Same goes for when she hits her little brother and he hits back. When the kids pull all the cushions off the couch, I make them put them all back, and only give a little help instead of doing it all myself.

And every day I glean wonderful parenting advice from the original Meanest Mom by reading her blog thoroughly (hey, a little brown-nosing can't hurt).

Permalink Reply by Helen on February 19, 2009 at 9:45pm

My children are a little young at the moment to realize just how mean I am, but in a few years they'll see the pictures and realize just how bad it was...

Not only do I drag my triplets around in a wagon that draws attention like bees are drawn to an open can of soda, but when they aren't in their wagon I'm walking them on leashes. Before heading out into public on the leashes we of course practice at home. I don't need some little old lady seeing them fall onto their rears when they reach the end of their leash!

My children have also suffered from the all mighty schedule. Ever since their time in the NICU their meals, naps and diaper changes have been closely regimented.

I'm sure their future wives will thank me for their schedule oriented, attention starved husbands. At least they'll be able to keep them on a short leash!

Permalink Reply by HM on February 19, 2009 at 11:45pm

OK, Jana, you got me, I couldn't resist. I've don't just enjoy my meanest mom status, I wallow in it. During the last 22 years:

1. I made my girls clear their own places at the table as soon as they were old enough to carry a plate and fork across the kitchen without dropping it or impaling themselves on it. They still do.
2. I made them make their own beds as soon as they were old enough to have a "big" bed. Every morning. As soon as they got out of it and before they set foot outside their rooms. Oh, and they went to bed at the same time each night, too.
3. I have cleaned up toys by throwing them out in the trash on more than one occasion. And I enjoyed it. With a great, big smile on my face!
4. I forced my children to do chores from the tender age of two. Horrid things such as clean up the toys they flung about the house and pick up the dirty clothes they dropped on the floor. When they got older I made them take out the garbage, do the dishes, clean toilets and pick up dog poop. I know, I know, I risked scarring them for life, but I like to live dangerously.
5. I pretended that they were Cinderella and I was the mean stepmother so they would do the dusting for me. They thought it was great. (So did I.)
6. I used some of their Halloween candy one year when I ran short of my own. I don’t mean the Halloween candy I bought for them, I mean the Halloween candy they had just brought home from their own trick-or-treating.
7. I refused to buy them any of latest trendy toys for most of their elementary school years and forced them to go to a friend's house and play with hers. (My daughter still harbors Tamaguchi resentment 12 years later.)

But in all my years as the meanest mom, I am most proud of the Memo. When my younger daughter was 3 or 4 (if I recall correctly) she had a lovely little temper tantrum that centered around the words "It's not fair!" To which I replied, very seriously, that she was absolutely correct, it was NOT fair, but sadly, I had no say in the matter, because when she was born, I was given an official memo that instructed me to make sure that life for Brianna was Not Fair At All. The Memo was effective for 7 years after which time it would be up for review and then it would be decided if the Memo was to be renewed. She immediately asked her father about this (because obviously, it could not be true) and he told her that yes, it was, none of us had a choice in it and he was very sorry, but all of us were duty-bound to make her life as Not Fair As Possible. My older daughter, Caitlin (5 or 6 at the time) told her, perfectly straight-faced, that she too had seen the Memo and Brianna was pretty much doomed. Even my parents were aware of it and they, too, would be forced to make sure that life would Never Be Fair. Needless to say, Brianna was very, very sad, but every time after that, when she would complain that something Was Not Fair, I would shake my head in sympathy and agree with her, but remind her that there was nothing I could do about it, I had been given the Memo. When other people were Not Fair To Her, we all agreed that they must have received their own copy of the Memo. On her 7th birthday, she asked me if the Memo had been renewed and, meanest mom that I am, I very regretfully told her that yes, it had, for another 7-year period and it was a crying shame, but it was going to be a very long time before Life Would Ever Be Fair For Her. She's 20 now and she still remembers the Memo and how we all made her believe that it was true. (Seriously, the next time you see her, just ask her about it.) Obviously, I'm not satisfied with being the meanest mom, I believe in recruiting everyone else in the family to be just as evil as I am. I'm shooting for a dynasty here.

Permalink Reply by brossettelewis on February 19, 2009 at 11:59pm

K is my 3yr old daughter and G is my 5yr old mommyjr.

K- She can't leave me here forever.
("here" being time out because she peed the bathroom floor)
G- Yes she can.
K- No.
G- Yes, she has the power.
K- No.
G- We have no power Kate. We have to do what she says forever.
K- When I be a mommy, I'll have the power.
G- But mom will still have the power on you.
K- I'm going to have 60 90 kids so I have big power.
G- {shaking head} Mom will still have power on you.

I have the power!!! and don't you forget it! :)
oh... I send my preschooler to school sans backpack because I didn't lose it. I photograph a bloody hand for my blog to show who stabbed the Craisins a few dozen times. I withhold hot chocolate until I hear a cute puppy dog "please". I cram 2 high chairs in the pantry and the rest on top of the table so my two little men can't climb on the counters. I start my 5 yr old a blog so she'll quit begging to post on mine. I force my 3 yr old to memorize articles of faith, what's a magistrate anyway?. ... Oh and my 5 yr old says next time I am mean to her she is going to call be step mother!!! I'm kind of excited to hear that. And this is just the past couple of weeks. It gets better! brossettelewis.blogspot.com

Permalink Reply by Tori on February 20, 2009 at 6:27am

I am the meanest mom EVER, I refuse to make three different dinners every night, what I make is what we eat. I refuse to fill three sippy cups with three different beverages only for none of them to be touched. I force my girls to clean the floor should they decide to spill their food on purpose instead of eating it. Dessert is a privilege not a right, enough said. Same goes for TV and paints. I do not succumb to tantrums in public, we never leave a store without our cart full of groceries because someone is melting. I calmly yet firmly remind them that they can straighten up and fly right or they can stand in the nearest corner for everyone to see how bad they are. 99% of the time they straighten up. Only one time have we used a corner in the grocery store, I had to apologize to an older man for blocking the access to adult bladder control items, it hadn't been 2 minutes, yet, he had to wait. Is that wrong?

Permalink Reply by Janet Davis on February 20, 2009 at 11:35am

Janna - I know for a fact that I'm the meanest mom ever because I've been told so by my (now teenage) daughters since they were old enough to speak.

If memory serves me correctly, the first infraction was the day that my first daughter decided to run into the street chasing a balloon. I caught her right before she ran out between two parked cars...but not with my hands...the only thing I could do to stop her (from running full force out into traffic) was to swing my purse at her, thusly sweeping her off her feet and knocking her to the ground.

Since then it has been a never ending mishmash of unfairness and other atrocities in which my poor children have had to endure...

Rest assured that if they were here they'd tell you of all of the horrid things I have done to them up to this point just to ensure that they were loved and cared for over the past 19 years. Ahhh, motherhood! :-/

Keep up the great commentary...you make me laugh every day.

Janet

Permalink Reply by Pamala on February 20, 2009 at 11:46am

After reading all the posts here I've come to the conclusion that I really am a MEAN mom. I never knew until now. My child is truly going to hate me. LOL!

1. Kaylee has a schedule that we adhere to every day. She eats breakfast at 8:30am and eats only what I make no choice for her. She eats lunch at 12PM and eats what I give her. She naps at 1PM and stays in her room until she's napped (if that means 4 hours in her room then that's what happens). She eats dinner at 5:30PM and no I don't make her anything special. She eats what we eat.

2. She has to ask for things properly. May I please have so and so. Thank you and Your Welcome.

3. If she throws a tantrum I take whatever she's tantruming over away. If she's wanting to go to the park we don't go. If she's acting out at the park, we leave. If she's buying a toy it gets taken away and put back on the self. But she never gets to leave a place because she wants to. We leave when it's time whether she likes it or not.

4. I too do blog about her and everything she does. She'll have a great record when she's a teenager for me to show to her friends.

There's probably more. On a side note I've been told I'm MEAN because when I do have another child I'm not going to allow them to share a room.

Permalink Reply by coleyrm on February 20, 2009 at 1:32pm

I was told just last night (for probably the thousandth time) that I am the M-E-A-N-E-S-T mom in the whole universe because on Thursday nights, I make the kids go to bed at 7:45 because Thursdays are Grey's Anatomy nights. And if those children come out of bed and make one peep that interrupts my Grey's Anatomy viewing, there are SEVERE consequences.

Permalink Reply by Lisa Amott on February 20, 2009 at 2:08pm

I volunteer at my son's middle school. I took some information to my son when he was in science class. He pushed me out of his classroom because his teacher told me come back anytime. I then walked back into the class, told my son very loudly, "I love you. Hugs and kisses." Then I blew him a kiss. He was horrified. I loved it.

My children do not have cell phones. *gasp*

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