Real Stories. Real Advice. Real Moms.
I am SO ashamed....
Today I went to McDonald's to get one of my beloved Egg McMuffins (7 Weight Watcher points, $3.36 with a small diet coke... good for both budgets if NOT done often). And no, that is not why I am ashamed.
I sat idling in the drive-thru lane in my SUV - my carbon footprint is not why I am ashamed either.
The car ahead of me had a little blond headed boy bouncing around the car and hanging out the driver's side window. He was no more than 2 years old. I thought maybe Mom had let him out of his seat in the drive thru line for a car seat break. I knew any moment I would see her pull forward, put him in his backseat carseat, and leave Micky D's.
She did pull forward. And she got out of the car.... and went into McDonald's. I looked at the lady in the drive up window and said "She just left that child in the car!" I was shocked. I pulled forward with my window still down from receiving my food and the car was ON! A two year old child was sitting in the driver's seat with the engine running ALONE. The mother came out and I pulled on ahead. I kept an eye out for her in my rearview mirror. I pulled up to the red light and rolled down my passenger window. She pulled up beside me with the child in the front seat, standing up and facing backwards, while she was dialing her cell phone. I KID YOU NOT!! I was dumb struck. I was so angry and shocked that I DID NOT SAY A WORD.
Is that why I am ashamed?
Yes. But I am ashamed of my judgement of her and my anger.
There are so many ways that I could have handled that situation. I could have reached out to that young mother in Christian love and mentioned kindly that her child would be safer in a car seat. I could have offered to go and buy her one (although I believe there was one in the car). I could have mentioned my children not wanting to ride in their seats as toddlers and how I had to do the safe thing for them and not the easy thing for me.
Instead, I reacted by judging her and with fleshly anger that robbed me of all words.
I think that I missed an opportunity to be a witness to a young mother just by showing concern and kindness. I think that the learning experience was for me. God revealed an area of my life that needs to be worked out through Him. I have prayed about it and prayed for that little boy and his mother. I am ashamed of my fleshly reaction of anger and disdain and ashamed that I squandered an opportunity to be a witness for the Lord.
Have you had a similar experience? Has there been a time that you felt that you were right initially, only to be shown that God would have had you to react differently?
I sat idling in the drive-thru lane in my SUV - my carbon footprint is not why I am ashamed either.
The car ahead of me had a little blond headed boy bouncing around the car and hanging out the driver's side window. He was no more than 2 years old. I thought maybe Mom had let him out of his seat in the drive thru line for a car seat break. I knew any moment I would see her pull forward, put him in his backseat carseat, and leave Micky D's.
She did pull forward. And she got out of the car.... and went into McDonald's. I looked at the lady in the drive up window and said "She just left that child in the car!" I was shocked. I pulled forward with my window still down from receiving my food and the car was ON! A two year old child was sitting in the driver's seat with the engine running ALONE. The mother came out and I pulled on ahead. I kept an eye out for her in my rearview mirror. I pulled up to the red light and rolled down my passenger window. She pulled up beside me with the child in the front seat, standing up and facing backwards, while she was dialing her cell phone. I KID YOU NOT!! I was dumb struck. I was so angry and shocked that I DID NOT SAY A WORD.
Is that why I am ashamed?
Yes. But I am ashamed of my judgement of her and my anger.
There are so many ways that I could have handled that situation. I could have reached out to that young mother in Christian love and mentioned kindly that her child would be safer in a car seat. I could have offered to go and buy her one (although I believe there was one in the car). I could have mentioned my children not wanting to ride in their seats as toddlers and how I had to do the safe thing for them and not the easy thing for me.
Instead, I reacted by judging her and with fleshly anger that robbed me of all words.
I think that I missed an opportunity to be a witness to a young mother just by showing concern and kindness. I think that the learning experience was for me. God revealed an area of my life that needs to be worked out through Him. I have prayed about it and prayed for that little boy and his mother. I am ashamed of my fleshly reaction of anger and disdain and ashamed that I squandered an opportunity to be a witness for the Lord.
Have you had a similar experience? Has there been a time that you felt that you were right initially, only to be shown that God would have had you to react differently?
Add a Comment
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Comment by Michelle Avery Weston on October 18, 2008 at 8:51pm -
Jen,
I completely understand where you are coming from...as Stacey has shared, I too have missed so many opportunities to help others in a loving way because I indulged my own anger and judgement...but I am so glad you are sharing this experience - and your feelings about it - via your blog. You will have an impact on many, many others this way, who hopefully will think twice about how to handle a similar situation the next time they encounter one...thank you for that!
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Comment by Jen the Dust Bunny Hostage on October 18, 2008 at 5:03pm - STACEY,NOTTAMOMMA, & SHAWNA... Thank you for your thoughts. The reason my window was down was to fuss at this woman. And I did indeed think of calling 911. I feel like I should have done more, and I think that if I had not been so angry that I might of been able to. I don't understand the mindset that allows a child to be in danger, but something that you said gave me pause. It is the law to have a seat belt on in Alabama as well. I did not have mine on!!! Oh My! Talk about a plank in my eye!! God is so good the way he continues to reveal Himself to me in the matters of my heart. Praise God!!! And wow, do I EVER have a long way to go in my Christian walk.
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Comment by Shawna on October 18, 2008 at 4:35pm - When I read this my mouth hit the floor!! I can't believe what you saw!! Maybe you should have called the police!! But I'm sure you were dumb founded!! Well, in a way it's not really your concern. Maybe you wouldn't be soo shocked if you see it again! Not really sure what to say except it is NOT your fault!! Here in Canada it is against the law for ANYONE to be in car without a seat belt!! Let alone a toddler!! AND it is also Illegal to be on a cellphone while driving!!!
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Comment by NottaMomma on October 18, 2008 at 9:21am - This topic really fires me up. It's all in the approach of course and it sounds like you had intentions of being a lot more patient and nicer than I would have been. I once went off on a mom who was driving her toddler on a windy 45mph speed limit road with no restraint - kid was standing in the front seat. I was a raging lunatic at the red light, screaming out my window things like, it's one thing if you don't care about yourself enough to protect your life with a seatbelt, but the law requires you to protect your minor children. She told me to mind my own business, of course, and the kid toppled over as she sped away when the light turned green. This was before the age of cell phones or I would have reported her ass on the spot.
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Comment by Stacey on October 18, 2008 at 8:14am - I think in my life time I have passed on several opportunities to witness to people in my life. I can't tell you how it haunts me. I pray that God will have mercy on the people I have failed and send someone else to clean up my mess. We all get into the flesh, it's wonderful that your experience was not a total loss, you are sharing now and I'm sure more than just myself has read this and they, like myself, will be more mindful of judging instead of showing the love of Christ by reacting in the way He has called us to. Thank you for sharing with us.
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