CML Parent Talk: My 3-year-old refuses to potty train

Momlogic member, Trena, isn't the only mom whose 3-year-old who isn't potty trained, but she's tried everything and it's just not working. This is her question: My son is 3 1/2 and continues to poop in his pants. We've tried rewards and punishment. I am not sure what else to do at this point. I want him to go to school this next year but they won't take him if he's not fully potty trained by May.

I asked Brenda Nixon, a childhood parenting expert and author of the book, "Birth to Five" to share her expertise:

The good news is this: around age 3, children care about what their peers think of them. (yes, peer pressure starts this young!) If he has just one peep tell him, "you stink" it'll be enough to help him control his bowels and put his poop in the toilet.

A second thing you can do is...I know this sound gross but it works and he is definately old enough...tell him to clean up his own dirty pants. Of course, you must supervise but when a child takes ownership of his behavior he makes different decisions. If your son must clean up his poop EVERY TIME he does it in his pants, it'll soon become no fun to poop in his pants.

Be matter-of-fact about it. Next time he poops simply say, "That's your poop and you must clean it up." No emotion. Then escort him into the bathroom and tell him to pull down his pants and wipe, etc. He'll probably whine and resist but think about it; whose poop is it anyway? So who should be responsible to clean it up? Trust me, be consistent in this and shortly you'll have your problem resolved.

CML: Trina, let us know how this works. Share with other moms step-by-step if this is helpful, what works and what you learned along the way. Moms need each other, don't they?