Day in the Life...of a early childhood expert (GIVEAWAY)

(CML is running this post again because we now can offer Brenda's book as a giveaway!) Brenda Nixon is a Momlogic member, but she's also an avid advocate of parenting empowerment. Intrigued? Tune in moms as Brenda shares her insight on the "terrible twos", what to do when your child throws a tantrum, how to grow a reader, and the issue of temperment. Brenda also gives a glimpse into her typical day as a writer and speaker, and mom.

Suzie Eller: Hi Brenda. I am excited to talk about early childhood with you. Let's start with what some call the "terrible twos". Toddlerhood was one of my favorite times as a mom. It was amazing to me to see each of my children growing into their own separate personality. I definitely remember those surges of independence, too! Can you share some practical tips on how to manage/appreciate a toddler's behavior?

Brenda Nixon: Ahh, I remember those years as well, Suzie, and it was thrilling...like a roller-coaster ride! My opinion is that we (moms) talk to ourselves. If we say these years are going to be terrible, that becomes prophetic and the years are indeed an unpleasant challenge. Whereas saying each phase is fun and unique will help us take things in stride and enjoy our child(ren) more. I encourage moms to embrace this brief phase.

The behaviors parents perceive as challenging -- or "terrible" --- are independence, power, control and safety. (The same issues you'll revisit when they're teens!) One way to manage a toddler's demands for power and control is to offer two acceptable choices at every turn. For example, the issue of hygiene isn't up for debate, however Mom can offer, "Would you like to brush your teeth or have me brush your teeth?" Bedtime isn't negotiable but Mom can ask, "Do you want me to read you this book or that book at bedtime?" At mealtimes, simply say "Do you want celery or carrots?" Then don't argue about it or with the tot's choice.

Presenting a choice, rather than always telling a tot what to do, helps him share some control of his little world and he will be more agreeable to live with.

SE: You believe that we can Grow a Reader. Why is this on your list of parenting priorities?

BN: Literacy is a key to success. Smart parents want to nurture their child's love of reading and literature to give him that key to school and future success.

The first and most important way to grow a reader is to read aloud to him right from the start. I encourage parents to make books a common part of their home furnishing and allow their child to see them reading. Remember, kids repeat Mom's behavior.

When I'm speaking to audiences on this topic, I reveal the who, what, when, where and how-to read aloud. Quickly, the who is anyone! Mom, Dad, a visiting friend, or anyone who has an influence in the life of a child can read aloud to him.

* The what to read, has to do with age-appropriate books. I list those in my presentation and in The Birth to Five book.

* When to read, means read frequently and regularly.

* Where to read? Everywhere! Take books to the store so kids can look through them while Mom shops. Take books to doctor appointments and in the car. The more children are exposed to books everyday, the more likely they are to fall in love with them. I have a picture of Lynsey, my first daughter, sitting on her toddler potty "reading" a book. I threaten if she dates a guy I don't like, I'm pulling out that picture!

The techniques for how-to read aloud include, letting the child interrupt. This shows he's engaged and thinking. The ultimate goal of reading a book to a youngster is not to finish it, rather to revel in the together-time, which will foster good feelings about books.

SE: How does a child's temperament affect a mom's method of parenting?

BN: Wow, that's a loaded question, Suzie. Quickly, there are 9 categories of temperament -- the way a child's hard-wired to respond to stimulus. I can't go into each of the categories but, there's a free article on understanding temperaments on my site www.BrendaNixon.com and I offer my live presentation on CD.

Basically, temperament affects how a mom responds to her child and how the child responds to Mom. One category is activity level. Some kiddos are hard-wired to be physical, seek motor stimulation, buzz around the room, etc. These children can be perceived as "hyper" when they simply need to touch and move...it's difficult for them to sit still. While other children are hard-wired to be more sedentary. These are the kids who will grow up not enjoying sports and hate exercising as an adult.

SE: What do you do when your child throws a temper tantrum?

BN: In a nutshell; ignore it! To a child, it's no fun to "perform" without an audience.

SE: Tell us about your day. What's it like as a writer and speaker?

BN: No typical day here. Somedays, I'm up writing and checking emails by 4 AM. Other days, I'm running errands, fielding phone calls, doing radio interviews or booksignings, researching for an upcoming speaking engagement, or any number of behind-the-scenes jobs when you're a woman entrepreneur.

SE: Tell us a little bit about your family.

BN: God blessed me with a wonderful husband, who is my best friend and cheerleader. We've been married for 30 years and have two fantastic, fun daughters. We all live in Ohio, although my older daughter is a RN and lives on her own and my younger one is in college. So I'm "empty nest" only during the school semesters. We also have two mini-dachshunds...my husband has a love/hate relationship with them.

SE: Hey moms, connect with Christian Momlogic member, Brenda Nixon at her website: http://www.BrendaNixon.com. Get free discipline tips in her newsletter at http://www.brendanixon.com/newsletter.htm or go to her Momlogic page and chat.

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