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T. Suzanne Eller

Decluttering, destressing the holidays: Life Coach Christine Kinney (Very special GIVEAWAY[s]!)

Christine Kinney is the founder of Declutter Your Life, Fresh Strategies, LLC. Do the holidays stress you? Are you surrounded by clutter and chaos? Kinney offers practical tips to help you "destress" Thanksgiving and Christmas! Today she is offering not only amazing advice, but a free holiday Declutter Session (45-minute personal phone call) to one lucky winner AND a free holiday Declutter Plan to every person who comments.

Suzie Eller: Hi Christine. Thanks for joining us. Thanksgiving is tomorrow and Christmas is right around the corner. It can be overwhelming. Many of these tips will help with Thanksgiving too, but what is the best way to begin now to reduce the stress during Christmas?

Christine Kinney: Without a doubt, the best way to beat holiday stress this Christmas is to be intentional about how you will spend your time, money and energy.

Figuring out what matters most to you and your family this holiday season requires some soul searching. It is one of the most critical things you can do to keep your stress in check.

Instead of just doing things because you feel obligated, because that’s the way your parents did them or because that’s the way you’ve always done them, take the time to evaluate how important those things really are to you and your family. It’s OK to say “no” and to create your own traditions.

SE: I love the idea of saying "no". Sometimes we need to say no in other ways. What's a good way to avoid overspending this Christmas?

CK: Surprises can be fun when they come in small packages – but not when they arrive in January in an envelope from your credit card company. To ensure you don’t overspend and get yourself into financial trouble, it’s important to set a budget and stick to it. When you know how much you want to spend, it will save you from making those unnecessary impulse purchases. Remember to include incidental expenses for things such as food, alcohol and decorations.

SE: Great advice! For some women and mothers it seems like they do the majority of the work during this time of year. How can women shift some of the responsibilities to others?

CK: Asking for help can be one of the toughest things we can do as a woman. Oftentimes we feel we have to do it all. It can be a great opportunity, however, for those people in our lives to feel more of a part of the celebration. It’s also a great way for our kids to learn new skills. This year look at asking for help as a gift you can give to your family and friends.

SE: Because the economy is tight this year, most of us will probably be spending less this holiday season. What's the best way to prepare children for a leaner year?

CK: I am actually excited my boys and their friends are not going to be getting as much “stuff” this Christmas. I believe this year will be an opportunity to make Christmas more about creating fun family traditions than about the gifts they will be getting.

It’s a good idea, however, to set expectations ahead of time about how you’re Christmas giving will be different this year. Although, most kids above the age of 5 understand that the US economy is in trouble and they have likely already experienced a change in their parents’ spending habits.

SE: What about other expectations? How can we keep from burning ourselves out this Christmas?

CK: Don’t sweat the small stuff this year. Perfectionism can lead to frustration and disappointment. Whenever possible, if there’s an easier way to accomplish something – do it. Most likely no one will notice you didn’t make the appetizers from scratch or you didn’t wrap the gifts just so. If the task really isn’t all that important in the first place – cross it off your to-do list.

SE: Another problem that can produce stress is weight gain. It's typical for women to gain about 7 pounds during the holidays. Any strategies on how to avoid falling into that trap?

CK: Although it can be difficult, try to maintain as regular a schedule as you can. Get lots of rest, eat well and keep up with your normal exercise routine. Your body and mind will thank you later.

Before going to party decide how much you will eat and drink. Set a goal and keep it. The short-term challenge of disciplining yourself to eat healthy will far out way the long-term pain and regret from overeating.

Listen to your body. If you’re starting to feel worn out, relax in a hot bath, walk the dog in the park or take a nap to recharge your batteries. As mothers it’s important to take care of our needs first so we are better able to help everyone else in our life.

SE: Aside from parties and programs and food, the central theme of Christmas is the birth of Christ and the joy that brings to a believer's life. What is one thing that we can do to shift the focus from our to-do list to Christ?

CK: You probably remember the Bible story of Mary and Martha. When Jesus came to visit the two sisters, each responded to his visit in a totally different way. Mary sat by Jesus’ feet and listened to his every word, while Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made.

When Martha complained to Jesus that her sister Mary left her to do all the work herself, here’s how Jesus replied. “"Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her."

I use this story as my guideline. Throughout the Christmas season I ask myself, “Am I being Mary or am I being Martha?” Am I listening for the meaning of the season or am I lost in the details? It’s a great reality check. I don’t want my special holiday memories to be overshadowed by an enormous “to-do” list.

SE: Can you share a story of a woman or family that you helped declutter their life during the holidays? What was the result?

CK: Trisha, a wife and mother of two small children, came to me because she had lost the joy of Christmas. In the past few years, stress, overeating, overspending and burn out had replaced her excitement for the season. She was overwhelmed by having just too much to do and too little time to do it in.

Together we worked to create a vision for Trisha’s perfect Christmas, which was much more simplified and included lots of time with family and friends. Trisha then wrote a list of everything she did during the holidays. One by one, she went through each activity and determined how important it was, when it needed to be completed by, the associated costs and ways to make the task easier. From there it was easy for Trisha to make decisions on how she would manage her time, money and energy.

Because Trisha managed the holiday instead of letting it manage her, she was able to relax and enjoy the season. She truly changed how she felt about Christmas and her joyful attitude spilled over into her husband, children, friends and family.

SE: While I have heard of life coaches, I've never head of a declutter coach. And yet if you saw my home office, you would know that there is a need! What is a declutter coach? What do you do?

CK: Good question. In working with my clients as a Life Coach, I have found there is a common barrier that keeps us from realizing our dreams and it’s Clutter. Not the clutter in our closets, but the clutter in our minds, calendars and priorities. What I do is help busy women, especially mothers, declutter their lives from the inside out. As a result, they simply their lives, reduce their stress and focus on the things that are most important to them.

SE: For more information about Decluttering your life and about the interactive course Declutter Bootcamp for the Busy Christian Mom, you can log on to www.declutterbootcamp.com.

Ladies (and guys, too), one lucky commentor will receive a free 45-minute personal holiday declutter session with Christine Kinney. Every one else will receive a free holiday plan. Comment! Share your stressful moments, your clutter difficulties, and why you believe a life coaching session would be of benefit to you!

Tags: christmas, declutter, family-fun, life-coach, organization, stress, thanksgiving

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11 Comments

Pattina Leeper Comment by Pattina Leeper on November 26, 2008 at 9:57am
I know about stress this year. Its the first year that I am doing the Holiday meal by myself but so far I have not let it get to me yet.
Tricia Hall Comment by Tricia Hall on November 26, 2008 at 10:14am
Thanks for the advice. I always feel there is too much to do in too little time. :( Then you put in what Pattina wrote with other emotional factors and I think in ways we are lossing touch of the meaning...
mandygrisham Comment by mandygrisham on November 26, 2008 at 11:33am
I'm staying home full-time for the first time with my two boys (3 yrs and 5 months). I'm amazed at how "cluttered" my life looks even though I've made many intentional changes to simplify it. I'd love more help de-cluttering!
doublemam Comment by doublemam on November 26, 2008 at 12:03pm
It seems to be imposseble to declutter My son has autism. He have a special area set up were we practice his writing, comprehension, reading, jumping ,sorting etc. If I don't put it up and my son get a hold of it then we miss pieces and we can't use it till we hopefully find it a couple of days later. When we get the mail we might put it on the same table my son work on and then it all gets mixed up and we miss place. It would be nice if less clutter was possible but I don't see that happening with a teenager, husband but especially a little boy who likes to mix everything up.
Wanda Comment by Wanda on November 26, 2008 at 4:09pm
CLUTTERED!!!! I am over it!
Today I read on another blog about a family that is downsizing.....and I could totally relate.
My house & life are spinning out of control.
I need H E L P !!!
Denise Comment by Denise on November 26, 2008 at 4:50pm
Holidays make me nuts. I get very emotional and I think alot has to do with the lack of organization. I get so stressed when I am not 1/2 way done with shopping by Thanksgiving. This year I think I have even bought stuff just because I needed to have some shopping done! I dont know what I have gotten everyone. I need to get organized and figure it all out BEFORE I find out I spent a billion dollars on each person.
ShaRhonda Crow Comment by ShaRhonda Crow on November 27, 2008 at 5:00pm
I am such a "Martha"......I never can sit still when I have family over. We are really starting to outgrow our home, and the thought of "new" gifts w/ b-days and Christmas coming up, really adds to the stress of CLUTTER!
sheila Comment by sheila on November 28, 2008 at 9:56am
I am not a messy person. my house is just lived in. I hate to throw any thing away. Now with Christmas coming near. I just have to learn to get rid of somethings. I am just out out of comtrol. It has been stressing me out for years now.
Deana Comment by Deana on November 30, 2008 at 10:34pm
I can really relate to the feeling of being overwhelmed by all the "stuff" of Christmas. The last few years it has taken me longer and longer to get into the holiday spirit. Mainly because I have been questioning why I feel like I have to do all the stuff that society says makes Christmas good. I want to enjoy the Christ of Christmas not the stuff but I am unsure how to make that happen.
dobbins Comment by dobbins on December 1, 2008 at 10:39am
My life is really cluttered. I have so many "things I'm going to do" that I never get around to it. I even got a round shaped "tuit" as a gag gift once. because I always say I'll get around to it! I guess I just need to get better at setting priorities and let the rest just be a good idea for someone else.

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