Hello Ma? ... Lesson in Tough Love

Many moons ago, in the land of “The Young and The Foolish", I was out one night with my boo, or should I say my boo-boo, who turned out to be my boo-hoo......Anyway it's about 2:30 a.m. and, we'd been partying preettty good. He wanted to drive my brand new 1978 Bill Blass Edition Cougar back to the crib.

I was not pleased about it, but........ in the interest of the relationship and to keep him quiet, I let him.

WRONG, WRONG, WRONG decision!

He got behind the wheel and immediately began going about 50 mph down a very narrow residential street with cars parked on both sides. Yes........ you guessed it, he sideswiped just about every car for about a mile until the cops finally stopped us, where he proceeded to try to NOW put me behind the wheel. Oh, he was a real gem!

Long story short, my car is now totalled and I'm sitting in the police station confused, dazed and furious with no way to get home. Obviously I'm stone sober now, and the first person I called was my Dear Mother. The conversation went a little something like this:

Me: Hello Ma?

Ma: Yes

Me: This is me Ma

Ma: Yes

Me: Ma I'm down here at 1300 Beaubien, my car was in an accident and they've got Boo Boo locked up and I need a ride home.

Ma: Are you alright?

Me: Yeah Ma, I'm fine, but the car is totalled and I just need a ride, so if you can......

Ma: "Click"

Me: Hello?..... Hello?...... HELLLLLOOOOO????

Ok, so I'm sitting there with the Sergeant pretending not to notice what just took place, while shaking his head at the same time. I guess I'd seen to WAAYYY too many episodes of Dragnet about being allowed only 1 phone call, so I'm panicking thinking I'm not going to be able to call her back. But the Sergeant, said sure, go ahead call her, as he attempted to hold his laughter.

Me: Ma?

Ma: Yes

Me: Ma, I don't know what happened, we got disconnected some kind of way, but like I was sayin'... I need to tell you how to come down here to pick me up.....

Ma: Sherryl, Are you alright?

Me: Yes, Ma I told you I'm fine. Now get on the Lodge (freeway) going downtown and come up at............

Ma: "Click"

Well right about now, I'm looking and feeling REALLY stupid! The Sergeant kinda smirks and continues to shake his head. It's more than obvious to me now, my Mother doesn't love me enough to come down to the preceint and pick her drunk daughter up from the jailhouse.

So I ended up calling a friend, who'd been at the same party. After hearing the story she was reluctant to leave her house due to her less than stable condition. Once she finally arrived, I had her IMMEDIATELY take me to my Mom's house to find out exactly what her ailment was.

By this time it's about 5:30 a.m. When I got in the house, I found my mother on her knees praying. Well, let me tell you, I had to interrupt that little talk she was having with Jesus to grill her about why she left me stranded at the Po Po station, and I mean I lit into her, but good!

She calmly explained, (which is something she always did and it REALLY got on my NERVES) The LORD told her and I quote:

"I could not rescue you from that situation because it would mean that I supported the very bad decision you'd made in the first place".

What the.... The Lord said WHAT??? Well, I'm twice as P.O'd now, how is she going to let the LORD tell her what to do with me? It made know sense to the alcohol remaining in my bloodstream, so I stumbled out of the house got back in the car with my friend and she drove me home.

This incident continued a rebellion that started many years before ....and lasted for quite awhile. After that encounter, everytime I'd get in some sort of predicament and called my mother for assistance, she refused to help me.

Fast Forward 8 years, I'm now a changed woman, saved, serving the Lord and one Sunday after Church and a good meal, me & Ma relaxed, kicked back with our feet up had a long conversation about some of the crazy things I used to do. There had been many situations, when I was, just let's say "not the child she raised" where she'd wanted to help me, yet withheld her assistance. When Ma started reflecting, she talked about the night she left me at 1300 Beaubien Police Preceint in Downtown Detroit.

She explained when she first got the call, and I told her the circumstances surrounding the accident, even though she knew I was wrong, she'd actually gotten up out of bed to come get me, but the Lord stopped her.

She went on to say the 2nd time the phone rang, her keys were in her hand and she'd stepped into her shoes, but again the Lord said "NO". She continued by telling me when I arrived at her house at 5:30 that morning, she'd been crying and cried the remainder of the night, hoping I'd call again. She concluded by explaining this unimaginable feeling of helplessness, because the Lord wouldn't allow her to come to the aid of her only child and she had to trust what God was speaking to her.

As my Mama recounted the story, I could see the pain and anguish in her eyes, remembering as if it only occured yesterday, how difficult it was NOT to give in to her maternal instinct and rescue her lost baby. We hugged, and both had a good cry after that. Although I hadn't shown it much, I had a new found admiration for my mom.

This is only one of many stories that make up my life, but I shared this particular one to let you know, as parents, sometimes you have to make unpopular and very tough decisions that will be painful to you, and seemingly devastating to your child, no matter how old they are. But there comes a time when you have to draw a line in the sand, put your foot down, and show that Tough Love, that Godly love that through faith and trust in Him will eventually pay off in the end.

It may take a while for your children to understand and come around, but Trust Jesus, the time will come, where they'll respect, appreciate and thank you for your decisions. I know I did.


Hello Ma? Is an excerpt from Sherryl Hooks’ soon to be released book “In Case of Emergency” © All Rights Reserved 2009