I Wish There Had Been a Video Camera Pointing Straight into the Future

I lost it. I admit it. I kicked a trashcan and it rolled down the driveway. I ran into the house, sobbing. It wasn't a pretty picture. My teen daughter came into the laundry room. "What's wrong, mom? What happened?"

It's one of a few scenes that I am ashamed of -- knowing that the scene could be painted in the Mom Hall of Shame.

My teen son and I were butting heads. He was a good kid. I was a good mom--at least, most of the time. But the taller he got, the more we clashed. I tried prayer. I tried reasoning. I tried discipline. I remained consistent, calm.

But nothing worked that day and the words he said in anger went right into my heart and my words flew out and went right into his. I raged. I roared. I kicked trashcans, and then I clearly saw myself as if looking through a lens. It was ugly. Nothing good was accomplished. That's when I literally ran into the house.

Later that night my son and I talked. I listened. He listened. We came to terms. I set some clear boundaries. He apologized, as did I.

I wish I had owned a futuristic video camera at that time. One that showed me the amazing man my son would become. One that showed us playing Wii bowling at lunch, laughing, him calling a couple of times a day just to check in, and even of us plotting a book to write one day about moms and teen sons.

Would it have changed anything? I think so. I think it would have told me that if I stayed on track -- calm, consistent, discipline, ecouragement, it would turn out okay. It would have removed the angst, the anger, the emotional backlash that said, "you're failing here, mom, and you're hurting your son and your relationship with him in the process...". I think the trash can would have been spared that day.

Maybe you're in the middle of parenting a teen who just said something hurtful or a toddler throwing a tantrum or a daughter that won't talk to you. Hang tight. Be calm. Keep doing what you're doing and love them like crazy while they grow into the man or woman they will one day become.