Learning to Live Financially Free: Interview w/author Marybeth Whalen {{GIVEAWAY!}}

Marybeth Whalen is a mom of six, wife, speaker and author. She's also a woman who cares about families and the financial strain that impacts many. Today Marybeth joins Suzie to talk about Learning to Live Financially Free, her new book, and shares tips with you on how to do just that.

Suzie Eller: What prompted you to write about your own financial life lessons?

Marybeth Whalen: My husband, Curt, and I learned that sharing our story is helpful to other people who are struggling. There's so much shame and hiding attached to issues with money. We decided that the best thing we could do is to just be honest and real about the mistakes that we've made and the lessons we've learned. People need to know they aren't the only ones struggling with these issues.

SE: You wrote this book as a couple. Why, and what were the challenges?

MB: I love to write, but I am not a financially minded person. Since my husband takes care of the bills and has lots of experience with financial counseling, it was a natural fit for me to have him involved with this project. I can tell stories, but he brings the nuts and bolts of financial management to the equation. As far as the challenges, it was not that bad. Mostly I had to learn to be patient with him while he juggled working fulltime and writing the parts of the book I needed from him. I had to not cross the line between "asking" and nagging. We are already brainstorming our next book so I would say it was a good experience overall.

SE: As the mom of six children, what advice can you give to mothers about spending?

MB: I would say that the best thing a mom can do is cook at home. When Curt does financial counseling with families very often he discovers a huge portion of their monthly spending is going to eating out. This is an easy enough fix. I encourage moms to make a meal plan and then create a grocery list based on the needed ingredients for those meals. I usually do all of this on weekends. I sit down in my kitchen with some favorite cookbooks and begin writing down meals and what I will need to make them. (I do this in the kitchen so I can easily hop up to check what we need.) After I am done, it's time for a grocery run with my list in hand. I might spend 1.5-2 hours doing this on a weekend, but I don't have to think about dinner again all week-- and that's a big relief to my stress level and our budget. No last minute pizza or takeout runs because I forgot to plan dinner! I post all our meals on a write on/wipe off board on the side of our fridge and each morning I look at the choices to see if I need to take meat out to thaw or start something in the crockpot.

This isn't just a money saving tip-- it's a time saving one as well! If you need some menu planning inspiration, I would check in at Organizing Junkie http://www.orgjunkie.com. She posts a roundup of menu plans every Monday and many people include recipes too. It really helps to see what a weekly menu looks like for other moms, especially if you've never done it before.

SE: What a great tip! Okay, here's a tough one. How can a mother teach their children about living financially free?

MB: By putting as much of the spending decisions as you can into their hands. We give our kids money for certain jobs, but we also have them use that money for things they want. Want to go to the movies? Sure! If you have the money for it. Want a milkshake from the drivethrough? Did you bring your money? They quickly see where their money goes... and how fast. It's so much more impactful than if you, the mom, are constantly doling out money. It's funny to see how quickly some of those things they used to beg for become not so important when it's their money. That's a lesson you want them to learn early on-- the difference between needs and wants, and delayed gratification.

SE: What made you re-evaluate your family finances?

MB: We were expecting our sixth child and were $95,000 in debt. We knew we were on a slippery slope and the reality of her arrival was weighing on us as we took on that additional responsibility. We sat in our car one night and dreamed of what it would be like to be debt free. Our dreams took shape as we plotted out what it would take to get out of debt once and for all. We were unified in our approach for the first time in our marriage and able to support each other as we took those first tentative steps. We knew it would be a long haul... and it was. It took us 4.5 years but now we are debt free except for our house.

SE: What would you say to a woman who is in that same financial spot now?

MB: Don't give up! If we can do it, anyone can! We paid off $95,000 on one income with six kids. It can be done with God's help.

SE: What's the first thing that families need to do to get a handle on their finances?

: MB: Set up a budget that your household runs on. Stick to that budget no matter what. Some people hate even hearing the word budget but we have learned that for our finances to work, it's a necessary thing that, in the end, can be quite freeing. You have something to keep you on track and parameters that lead to a sense of security instead of that feeling of not really knowing what's going on with your money.

SE: Living frugal often has a negative connotation. What is the most rewarding thing about living financially free?

MB: Being able to do things we've never been able to do before... and pay cash for it. We have to think ahead and make sure it's in the budget, but once we determine those things we can go out and make our purchase without that nagging feeling that we've just made a mistake like we used to.

SE: A fun question. What is your favorite food (don't count calories when answering!) and if you could spend one hour somewhere, who would be with you and where would you be?

MB: Favorite food: probably pizza, as teenagerish as that sounds! I also love strawberry anything! And chocolate, of course! As for an hour somewhere-- it's a close tie between on the beach at Sunset Beach, NC and in a great bookstore with a delicious strawberry blended creme drink in my hand. As for who would be with me-- my husband-- he is truly my best friend and we do most everything together. But believe me, it wasn't always that way. There were times I thought I would never be able to say that... but that's a whole 'nother topic for another time!

SE: Show us a glimpse of the life in the day of a writer, speaker, and mom of 6.

MB: No day is ever the same as the one before it. With school ending, we are looking forward to the lazy days of eating popsicles, going to our neighborhood pool, riding bikes, and catching fireflies. My oldest is driving now and will probably be working. On a good day, I get in a workout on the treadmill and get some writing done, too. Oh, and there's always meals to be cooked and laundry and dishes to be done!

SE: How can CML members find out more about your book, and where to connect with you?

MB: My personal blog, Cheaper By The Half Dozen, can be found at http://www.marybethwhalen.com.

Curt and I have started a blog dealing with financial issues at http://www.marybethandcurt.blogspot.com. We answer questions there and also post ideas for saving money. Our book Learning To Live Financially Free: Hard-Earned Wisdom For Saving Your Marriage and Your Money, is available at Proverbs 31 Ministries http://www.proverbs31.org or on Amazon.

SE: This is great information and thanks for the helpful tips as well.

And ladies, what would this blog be if it didn't offer a GIVEAWAY! Marybeth has agreed to give one lucky commentor a copy of Learning to Live Financially Free: Hard Earned Wisdom for Saving Your Marriage and Money.

Share one reason why you think this book might be helpful (to you, to others, to a Sunday school class, etc.) We'll pick a winner next Wednesday!