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Men have traditionally been the hunters/gatherers/protectors—usually performing well at primal tasks for their wife/partner and family; so, it may be possible to overlook—or perhaps forgive—some of their deficiencies on a short-term basis. However, women suffer greatly from being forced to deal with core flaws that many men have for the whole of their lives. These defects not only negatively affect relationships/marriages over the long haul (and can also negatively impact children through their observation), but also seriously impact the very success, confidence, and effectiveness of the men themselves.

I suppose the Cro-Magnon man’s significant other could have perceived these behaviors as positive attributes under the right circumstances—perhaps. However, if we dare to call ourselves civilized, and call contemporary life a modern civilization, clearly these characteristics need to be put out to pasture.

--Uber-Dominance (read: Control): As men, we don’t feel we’re doing our jobs unless we mark our territory by figuratively peeing on everything within a 1,000-foot radius. And it’s a damn shame, too. By intimidating and/or outright bullying, men often alienate the very people they are attempting to lead.

--Etiquette: Manners and gentlemanly conduct should be synonymous, but many of my brothers have missed this boat. Releasing a 15-second three-octave fart (in mixed company!)—one so foul it makes the dog leave the room—seems to be a standing goal with men of all ages, 9 to 90 (although I do not know how you would put that skill on a résumé). Men who systematically shun civilized behavior and imagine obnoxious behavior to be “a guy thing” or “what guys do,” are perverting true masculinity.

--Infidelity: Society has always quietly condoned men behaving like “studs” while remaining “happily married.” This oxymoronical viewpoint is apparently spoken from the same side of the mouth that says a woman who sleeps with—or even just pursues—multiple partners is a slut, a whore, and a tramp. Obviously, men concoct these views; men that, if they had their way, would have women lie down as whores—catering to their every
sexual whim—and rise in their post-coital afterglow as virgins.

--Emotional Availability: It must be confusing to women as to why men don’t openly relate to each other with any real emotion. Most men gloss over the seriousness or depth of their relationships, and use common defense mechanisms of various sorts—humor, denial, and anger. These ways of having superficial arm’s-length relationships with male friends also bleed into their romantic relationships, and women experience the distance as the emotional disconnection it is.

These flaws and more are discussed in my book: The Problem with Women... is Men: The Evolution of a Man's Man to a....

Tags: charles, cheat, flaws, husband, is, men, of, orlando, problem, problems

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Momatron5000 Comment by Momatron5000 on February 23, 2009 at 12:49pm
Thank the lord I'm not the only one who feels like this. Reading through number three I thought---ahhhh, the old madonna/whore mindset. PSYCH 101. Just makes me all the more glad that I have a boyfriend who doesn't allow himself to fall prey to all of this garbage, just because that's what guys are "supposed to be like"
Elizabeth Williams Comment by Elizabeth Williams on December 19, 2008 at 11:50pm
Wow, this sounds so right on to me, I would really love to read more! I will keep my eye out for this!
Heather C Comment by Heather C on December 19, 2008 at 6:09pm
Yes, can you tell me why the three etiquette books I've bought for this man haven't been opened at all? haha. Wow, this sounds like a great read. I'd like it in MY stocking. :-)
Bonnie Cranmer Comment by Bonnie Cranmer on December 18, 2008 at 11:35am
Just have to win this book... before I begin another relationship & to help with raising sons, WOW! Your honesty and humor is inspirational ;~)))
Elisa Comment by Elisa on December 18, 2008 at 6:05am
My husband must be atypical, because these are not really flaws he actually has - with the exception of not sharing his feelings perhaps, which isn't necessarily a flaw IMO, just a personality train. We don't all wear our hearts on our sleeve!
Reeva M. Comment by Reeva M. on December 17, 2008 at 11:35pm
enjoyed this post! i'd love to get my hands on one of these books to read more :)
Tara Kuczykowski Comment by Tara Kuczykowski on December 17, 2008 at 8:21pm
Great post. Still trying to figure out my hubs, but I'm sure he'd say the same about me, LOL! I'd love to read your book!
Katja Presnal Comment by Katja Presnal on December 17, 2008 at 5:41pm
I can't wait to read your book! There are absolutely things I would like to learn about my husband of ten years...
Yasmine Comment by Yasmine on December 16, 2008 at 7:50pm
great post! i agree with MicheleD, theres a few things i dont understand about my hubby either- maybe this will help us understand our men a bit more? i would so love to win this book- sounds like a great read!

lmao and where can i get one of those remotes- my hubby would love one! =]~
MicheleD Comment by MicheleD on December 16, 2008 at 11:55am
Thanks for sharing the inside scoop on men. After more than 11 years with my husband, there are still parts of him that are a mystery to me. Looks like your book might help unlock the code! :)

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