
Men have traditionally been the hunters/gatherers/protectors—usually performing well at primal tasks for their wife/partner and family; so, it may be possible to overlook—or perhaps forgive—some of their deficiencies on a short-term basis. However, women suffer greatly from being forced to deal with core flaws that many men have for the whole of their lives. These defects not only negatively affect relationships/marriages over the long haul (and can also negatively impact children through their observation), but also seriously impact the very success, confidence, and effectiveness of the men themselves.
I suppose the Cro-Magnon man’s significant other could have perceived these behaviors as positive attributes under the right circumstances—perhaps. However, if we dare to call ourselves civilized, and call contemporary life a modern civilization, clearly these characteristics need to be put out to pasture.
--Uber-Dominance (read: Control): As men, we don’t feel we’re doing our jobs unless we mark our territory by figuratively peeing on everything within a 1,000-foot radius. And it’s a damn shame, too. By intimidating and/or outright bullying, men often alienate the very people they are attempting to lead.
--Etiquette: Manners and gentlemanly conduct should be synonymous, but many of my brothers have missed this boat. Releasing a 15-second three-octave fart (in mixed company!)—one so foul it makes the dog leave the room—seems to be a standing goal with men of all ages, 9 to 90 (although I do not know how you would put that skill on a résumé). Men who systematically shun civilized behavior and imagine obnoxious behavior to be “a guy thing” or “what guys do,” are perverting true masculinity.
--Infidelity: Society has always quietly condoned men behaving like “studs” while remaining “happily married.” This oxymoronical viewpoint is apparently spoken from the same side of the mouth that says a woman who sleeps with—or even just pursues—multiple partners is a slut, a whore, and a tramp. Obviously, men concoct these views; men that, if they had their way, would have women lie down as whores—catering to their every
sexual whim—and rise in their post-coital afterglow as virgins.
--Emotional Availability: It must be confusing to women as to why men don’t openly relate to each other with any real emotion. Most men gloss over the seriousness or depth of their relationships, and use common defense mechanisms of various sorts—humor, denial, and anger. These ways of having superficial arm’s-length relationships with male friends also bleed into their romantic relationships, and women experience the distance as the emotional disconnection it is.
These flaws and more are discussed in my book:
The Problem with Women... is Men: The Evolution of a Man's Man to a....
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