The S.O.S. for PMS: An interview with author Mary Byers

According to WebMD, “Up to 85% of women normally have one or more troubling physical and emotional PMS symptoms each month, and symptoms often worsen as a woman approaches perimenopause.” At this age, many women are still engaged in hands-on parenting, which means PMS is not only a woman’s problem—it’s her family’s problem, too. Mary Byers, author of The S.O.S. for PMS: Practical Help and Relief for Moms drops in to offer help, hope, and healing in a refreshingly honest look at PMS.

Suzie: The statistic above is startling. Can you comment on it?

Mary: I found this statistic to be true as I interviewed moms. In addition, many women have delayed childbearing which means it’s possible that they are wrestling heightened PMS symptoms and parenting teenagers simultaneously. That’s a combustible combination--and precisely why women need to develop their own personal PMS coping plan. PMS affects not only women, but anyone else living with her as well.

Suzie: How can a woman determine if she has PMS?

Mary: There are over 150 symptoms of PMS. The most common are cramps, irritability, rage, depression, and lack of control over one’s emotions and reactions. Most women intuitively know if they wrestle with it, but for those who don’t know for sure, I suggest using a calendar to track symptoms starting a week before menstruation. After three months of tracking, patterns will start to emerge. This information is incredibly valuable for developing a proactive coping plan.

Suzie: Once a woman recognizes that she has symptoms, what steps should she take to minimize the effects they have on her life and family?

Mary: As mentioned above, charting symptoms is the number one step. Once you know what days of the month will be the most difficult for you, you can plan accordingly. This has helped me immensely. There are days when I know it’s dangerous for me to make decisions and days when I know I have to schedule myself more lightly than I usually would. In the case of PMS, knowledge truly is power.

Suzie: You spend quite a bit of time discussing nutrition. How does nutrition make a difference in responding to PMS symptoms?

Mary: There’s a correlation between women who are sugar addicts and those who have more severe PMS symptoms. Plus, there are “PMS-friendly” foods and those that make it worse. Good nutrition is an essential part of reducing symptoms.

Suzie: What other easy changes can women make in order to reduce their symptoms?

Mary: Exercise is one of the easiest and quickest ways to reduce symptoms and it doesn’t have to be long or hard. A simple walk around the block is enough to help. Two other easy solutions come to mind: get enough sleep when you are premenstrual and get outside daily for at least 20 minutes of sunshine, even when the weather is cold.

Sunshine helps produce serotonin, which is one of the neurotransmitters that allows nerve cells to communicate with one another. Lack of sunshine can cause a drop in serotonin and inadequate serotonin leads to depression and other PMS-related symptoms.

Suzie: You explore the idea of using medication to control symptoms. What do women need to think about as they decide whether or not to seek help from a prescription?

Mary: Ask these questions:

· Is PMS causing problems in your daily life?

· Are your symptoms getting worse?

· Are you feeling hopeless and overwhelmed because of them?

· Has a family member confronted you about “needing help”?

· Are you comfortable taking medication to help with your symptoms?

If you answer yes to the majority of the above questions, you might consider medication. Obviously, you’ll need to discuss the pros and cons with your personal physician.

Suzie: You recommend that women ask for help from husbands, friends, and family. Why?

Mary: It’s tough to go it alone. Building a support network increases the chance that you’ll be able to proactively manage PMS. Plus, on days when you just can’t, you’ll have a team that can pitch in and help. Finally, being able to acknowledge that you have a problem is a big step. If you can share it with your husband, friends, and family, you’re taking a big step on the road to healing.

Suzie: Do you advise women to talk with their children about PMS? If so, at what point?

Mary: I advise women to talk to their children in general terms when their children are old enough to understand. At this point, I’ve simply explained to my kids what hormones are and told them that sometimes mine make it harder for me to be patient. When they are older, I’ll tell them more.

My daughter will need to learn how to handle her own PMS if she has it (and there’s a good chance she will since evidence suggests PMS runs in families) and my son may marry a woman or have friends who have it. He needs to understand what it is and how it might affect his relationships with women.

Suzie: How would you respond to someone who says that by encouraging women to acknowledge PMS, you are giving them the opportunity to justify bad behavior?

Mary: I encourage women to acknowledge PMS for the purpose of beginning the healing process and developing their own coping plan, not as an excuse for bad behavior. Acknowledging it helps other people understand the struggle, lets them come along side you in the recovery, and gives them the knowledge they need to respond to you if you’re out of control. It also makes it easier to ask for forgiveness when bad behavior occurs because the people around you already understand why it happened.

Suzie: How has acknowledging you have PMS changed your personal monthly experience?

Mary: Admitting my struggle has done a couple of things for me. First, it changed the way I approach my most difficult days each month. Instead of trying to be super women during those days, I give myself a break. It’s also allowed my husband to step up to the plate. He’s great about helping the kids with homework or taking on dinner responsibilities when he knows I’m not my usual self. I schedule differently during this time as well by allowing more time to accomplish my work and a little time to nap when necessary! All of this together has made me calmer and less irritable when I have PMS. Frankly, the change has been amazing.

Suzie: Thank you Mary for joining us. I think this is a silent topic. We joke about it. We make light of it. But you've offered a real look at PMS and where to begin if it's affecting your life. How can we find out more?

Mary: http://www.MaryByers.com or check out the book at amazon.com!