Timeless Advice for Moms: Interview w/bestselling author Kathi Macias {{GIVEAWAY}}

It's almost Mother's Day! How many of you are looking for a little inspiration? I found plenty in Kathi Macias's beautiful new book, Mothers of the Bible Speak to Mothers of Today. It's not just a great book for you, but perhaps a good gift to pass along to your own mother, or a friend who is a new mom. Kathi Macias joins us today to talk about motherhood, our struggles, and the issues that seem to be timeless among moms.

Suzie Eller: Do you have a favorite mother of the Bible? Who is she, and why?

Kathi Macias: I suppose whichever mother of the Bible I’m studying at the time is my favorite, because each one at some point deals with something that reminds me of my own motherhood journey. But overall, I think I relate most to Eve—not because I didn’t have a role model; unlike poor Eve, I did have a mom who served in that role model capacity. However, I married straight out of high school at the age of 18 (my husband, Al, was 18 too!), and I was terrified of being a mom. Al joined the Air Force as soon as he graduated, then we got married and off we went to live near the base in Amarillo, Texas, nearly a thousand miles away from anyone I knew. We had no money and no sense of what it took to raise a family, but in less than two years we had two little ones in diapers.

To add to our dilemma, neither of us was a Christian at the time, so we had no church family for support or encouragement or advice. Al and I often look back on those times and realize how much the mercy of God carried us through and enabled our children to grow up IN SPITE of us!

SE: Was it difficult to find women in the Bible who encountered the same struggles women deal with today?

KM: Surprisingly, it wasn’t. In fact, that was one of the “selling points” for me in deciding to write the book. I had seen books on the women of the Bible, the “bad girls” of the Bible, etc., but nothing really in-depth about the mothers of the Bible. As I started praying about and considering the idea, I began reading and studying more about biblical mothers and was stunned to see just how much they had in common with mothers of today.

SE: Can you share one example?

KM: Again, there are many, but I think of Rebecca, the lovely wife of Isaac. How she longed to have children! In a society and culture where being childless was nearly a shameful thing, it’s not surprising that her obsession with becoming a mother became a nearly overwhelming obsession for her. When God finally granted her the desire of her heart and she discovered she was pregnant, she was overjoyed. When she delivered twin boys, it must have seemed a double blessing—until the competition and rivalry began.

My two oldest sons weren’t twins, but they were thirteen months apart, and the rivalry between them was one of the biggest challenges their father and I ever faced. Rebecca and Isaac, however, took the rivalry between Esau and Jacob to an even higher level by choosing favorites—Isaac preferred Esau, while Rebecca chose Jacob. Even then Rebecca didn’t leave it alone. She continually ran interference for her “pet,” maneuvering and manipulating to get him the best of everything under the guise that she was “helping” God fulfill Jacob’s destiny.

And that’s where I can relate, and I believe lots of other moms can too. How easy it is to get in God’s way and try to manipulate our children’s lives, only to find ourselves causing friction and division in the family. I have been guilty of being a “helicopter mom” and hovering far too closely over my children, and I have talked with so many moms who say the same thing. In the long run, we don’t do our children any favors by trying to play God in their lives.

SE: You spoke to mothers to find out the issues that really mattered to them. Was there a common theme?

KM: There were several, actually, but at the top of the list I found mothers who felt inadequate for the task, possibly because they were setting the bar too high and expecting too much of themselves. This brought on all sorts of unhealthy behavior, motivated by fear, over-protectiveness, guilt, and regret. As a result, these women (including myself) missed out on much of the joy of motherhood because we were too busy trying to do better, be better, feel better—mostly to no avail.

SE: What message of hope is there mothers who feel overloaded and unappreciated?

KM: When I look back now I see how unimportant and unnecessary most of my striving really was. It truly didn’t accomplish much, but my children grew up anyway. The message of hope is that those little ones are much more resilient than they appear, and so long as we bathe them in unconditional love—balanced by healthy boundaries—they’re going to be just fine, and we will all (parents and children included) look back on those early days, which seem so hectic and stressful when you’re in the midst of them, and laugh and reminisce together at the wonderful memories.

SE: On a more personal note, where are you in your "motherhood journey"?

KM: My “babies” are now in their mid-thirties to early forties, with children of their own. In fact, some of my grandchildren are also grown: two are in the Navy, one is in college, and one is even married with a baby of her own, making me a GREAT grandmother! The rest are between four and eighteen—all delightful, as only grandchildren can be!

SE: As a more seasoned mom, what is one thing you would share with younger moms still in the joys and trials of hands-on mothering?

KM: In the words of the old worn-out cliché, stop and spend more time smelling the flowers. They will wilt so quickly! Truly, the season of life when our children are growing up is probably the most precious and important season any of us ever experiences, and yet it passes so fast that we scarcely notice it until those former little ones are launching out of the nest into lives of their own.

I can’t walk down the street and hear a child’s voice call out “Mom” without stopping to turn around, though I know it can’t possibly be one of my own calling to me. And yet, in my heart, it is. We never stop hearing our children’s voice calling us, so listen now…while you can still respond and gather them into your arms.

SE: How can women find out more about you, Kathi, and how can they buy this beautiful book?

KM: I would love to have them stop by my website and read about the many books I have out in addition to this one, and of course they can order any of them from that site.

They can also sign up to receive my weekly devotional newsletter in either English or Spanish, and they can sign my guestbook and/or leave a comment on my blog for a chance to win a free book of their choice (any of mine from the books page). In addition, they can watch the video trailers for my latest books, including Mothers of the Bible Speak to Mothers of Today, which will help them get a clearer picture of the book’s message. Finally, they can send me an email, which I promise to answer. I love to hear from people, especially moms!

SE: Hey ladies, Kathi has graciously agreed to give one free book away to a lucky winner who comments on this blog. I'll draw a name next Wednesday at 8 a.m.!