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An age-old question still plagues men: What do women want? And perhaps more importantly: When do they want it? Even Sigmund Freud was unable to resolve that question, although formal and informal research shows that the top five “wants” are:

#5: Good income (which translates to security)
#4: Physical attractiveness
#3: Intelligence
#2: Leadership
and #1: Love

(Yes, love is #1 above all else according to various studies).

But much of this is very general, and is still rooted in primal mating rituals. After a relationship has grown and you’re staring across the breakfast table from the same person.. what is it they REALLY want… long and short-term? I’ve started this list based on what I’ve learned, what I’ve observed, and conversation. I invite ALL women (and men!) to add to this list.


Women want…

• their partner to talk with them, not talk at them.
• to be listened to, not merely heard.
• to vent and discuss their thoughts, without a man automatically trying to solve their problems.
• to be emotionally connected to their partner as equals in their relationships.
• to be respected.
• the freedom to be strong and bold, but the security to let their guard down with their partner.
• to be vulnerable and feminine.
• a man to always remember that he’s a gentleman throughout a relationship… not just when first dating.
• their partner to know that whatever happens in the bedroom doesn’t need to be discussed with friends… and it certainly doesn’t set the tone for the relationship outside the bedroom.
• more than five minutes of foreplay.
• romance over material things.
• to trust and be trusted.
• a man to have a great sense of humor.
• to feel desired.
• men to remember that they were women first… and wives/mothers/girlfriends second.

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Comment by duwentao on October 17, 2010 at 7:49pm
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Comment by Samantha on February 25, 2009 at 7:24pm
You both are great, they are all on my list, I might add 1)To realize that I really do know what I'm talking about most of the time, 2) more than five minutes of foreplay is important but it is equally important to realize that you will often finish before us, so give it a little longer:)
Comment by Jenny on February 25, 2009 at 9:25am
Great list and all definitely things I want... A couple other things I personally want: 1) To feel recognized and appreciated, 2) to know that my hopes, dreams and desires are as important to him as they are to me...

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